my fingers are numb from hours of paper cutting , i wanna finish it so badly , but if i do it too quick i'd mess it up with my impatience .

slow and steady is the way to play the game people . haahs , kay enough .

actually , i feelg kinda sad ? dissapointed , in agony . hahh , i dont even have the perfect vocab for it .

i thought that by now i would have learnt , but still i made the same mistake again and again .

it's time i really open my eyes to see who's there for me and who isnt , guess what ? you're not part of it .

gahhs * enough about u and yur crap alreadyyy .

somehow you manage to kept me without chains , and hold me without a touch .

u wont believe when i say that i never wanted anything this much .

and as i live here on my knees , im trying to make you see that you're eveyhing i need .

my gravity .

maybe.someday.you.shall.see.i.want.you.here.with.me.

lazy blogggg .

feel like shit .

burned my hand .

looks horrible .

my heart is aching for ...

so close yet so far at heart .

i want you .

i dont wnat to lose you know , we shall get through this somehow .
i dont wnat to lose now or ever , cause baby you thought me how to stay .
so why are you runng away ?

we all make mistakes , we all lose our way .
we already stood the test of time , and that's the way it would stay .
i just wanted to show you .

& i miss the crap we'd get into , the agony that we went thru .
most of all , i miss having fun with you , uno anyone ?

there's still sometg in your eyes that blows me away,
i need to have a reason for me to believe why im still living yet so alone .
i cant sleep , i keep tossing and turng , somehow i cant put my mind to ease ,
and my heart is still so heavy .
im tryg to be there for people, but mine is still a living hell .
how it's all so unstable and unsure , i hate it . i hate doing this .

the rising tension in my house is horrible , it is as though this house is a ticking bomb , soon enough someone will bloww ...
'sighs deeply' and i feel so helpless , i wished i could talk to someone, screm it out ! but no one seems to be listeng , all so involved with their own matters and i dont wish to be one of their problems .

i make a mistake , screw it . i made a whole bunch of mistakes , but i admit to them im sayg sorry , what else can i do ? i can only pray that you'd look at me like how you used to , with those eyes of yours love . your fuse is runng short with me , i dont blame you . i only got myslef to blame .
screw it . ust know that , misbehaving only makes the ditch between us so darn deep .

sch has been stresssgggggg ! i can totally feel the pressure now . HEH . wellll welll , ina darlg is going to fetch me from sch this mondayyyy , like yay . At least there's sometg to smile aboutttt , so shitxzzz has been happening , andddd this post is going to be full of emo stuff, so if it isnt your thingg , thennn byeeee .
kay , i dont really feel like blogging , but i'd give myself a freaking brain damage if i keep this saddness in me tight in a jarrr , i feel so bottled up . & it's true what my brother said, when the whole world goes wrong , it's yur family u run to .

here it goes ,
in this room of mine , time stand stilll .
hours and seconds ticked by , but yet it all seems so meaningless without you .
you said things change , it's me .
im getting really tired , and im hating all that i've known . i find it hard to say , while you find it hard to care .
it burns me deep inside , this silence betweens us is so loud till it's tormenting . but , they say good things dont last , when i badly wanted this to .

it's my fault.it's my fault.it's my fault. & i only got myself to blame , this sleepless nights turn into days while im still waiting for your return .
can u hear me ? im callg u , reachg out for you . yearng for you .
but you dont care , you cant see . i find it so hard to smile , im falling and it's such such a long way down . i wont live a lie , i miss you and it set hundred of torns into my heart seeing you .
what i'd give to hear to say my name again , this is so hard . what can i say , i love you and im sorry , i should have just told u how i felt .

this silence is leading me into never ending streams of tears , u cant even begin to understand how it hurts . you broke me .

heyyooo , im sick of techonology so why you sit on top of me , 'laughs'

i havent been updating , and also posting pictures , so hereeee .

basically first week of sch was H-O-R-R-I-B-L-E . stressg like crap , with coursework due .

i dont know to how many people i complain that coursework is dued . gagagss ,

everytime we fight we blow it out of porpotion , it's tiring , and honestly i cant seem to understand you , no matter how hard i try to accept you for who you are . it's becoming a rountine and it's so hard to get out off .

i know i shouldnt be brooding about this , and drag on . but serioulsy , i cant help it .

i want to sort out my thinkg this time .

& if you choose to hurt me , do it quickly .

get it over and done with .