wheww , this roller coaster week is finally ending .
crapp seyy, actually im really lazy to elaborate about the papers , just think it's all going to be average .
&& it's all startg already . it's too fast , hisyam is cumg out sunday .
can i stop it or push him back in? nahh , there are other people that needs him .
i should stop being selfish .
'sighs deeply' being self-reflectg alot ,after what liana said .
guess it's true , we are all mirrors .
feel like giving up , raising my hands up in the air , you caught me .
with endless destinations , to move on form one point to another to get what we want .
inhuman ? people call that survival .
&& im barely hanging on , let fix back the base of this relationship before going to mend others ,
cause i need you , do you feel the same way?

i tried holdg on to the reins , pullg it back .
but i guess i lost it . all of it .
cause i know , im not strong and i couldn't handle it . && i distanced , guess it worked .
don't really wnat people to really know what's going on .
cause , in the end of the day , it's still you going through it .
hisyam is cumg out like this week . everytg is going to change , with kak ayumi & the baby stayg over here .
can i just pretend like i don't care ? i seriously got no idea what to do .
just going to cover that make-up smeared eyes , and put on a smile .

I know it's deep
I'm letting go of your arm
Just let me know,
If i fall will
I be broken by the rocks beneath the lies.
It's violence now
It's all we take our hands our tied
Our eyes awake will
We wonder what tomorrow brings
Or follow the disguise.
So take what is yours and leave me
What is mine to have in memory of you
Because i'm losing my friend.
Memories that they never tell
You can't justify the means within,
To make decisions for my own and for you.
You're all i have without you i drown.
You told me that you wanted something more,
I can't believe you when you say
You don't care and when you're all alone
And you want something more
I can't believe what you say
When i'm with you

woke up .
like 10 , drank that horrible stuff down . im like having an on going war with mummy & sibs .
so unreasonable . GAHHS* so friday i , dint go school and spent day , out .
meet liano & sabbie at causeway cause liana wanted to report for the lost book .
like walked walked then , they went home .
so was left with me , shirin and ina .
was so bored so we went go buy chicken rice and sushi(s) headed under some block and eat .
suddenly saw sawi & shahul .
haahs . laze around then went to cp again , to meet rok !
went to timezon e, watched this group of girls so enthu dancing .
haahs .
went back to shirin's condo , play the world's hardest game , dame .
we died like 200 times and reached only at level 5 out of 50 .
i suck-ed big time tho . haahs .
spent the whole day at home , hahzim changed the pass ! luckily i begged syi-da for it .
We had it all in front of us
You were the one
I was in love
But you always hurt
the one you lost
I couldn't get enough

You were everything
That's bad for me
Make no apologies
I'm crushed...
Black and blue
But you know
I'd do it all again for you
if only you could understand & see .

cause you know what , i aint about you & me anymore .
our lifes , our relationship for godsakes revolves around even more people than i can imagine .
how does that make me feel ? let me say it for you .
i feel as if i've got no place in your heart anymore .
why do you need me , you've got all the rest .
im just a stumbling block . why do you have to come so late ? why ?
i wished , i could juts sit and talk to you .

i don't know why i feel so crappy plus shitty now days .
ouhh yarrhs && prelims are like next week , it makes me want to bite all my nails off .
GAHHS*
it's so fast . like seriously , and my throat hurts terribly again .
'sighs'
i don't feel like sleepg yet , so im writing stuff down .
guess it's now or never eyh ?

was spsed to go day two of rock it ! .
but stayed at home , im sick . after all the jumpg and shoutg .
'laughs'
going to miss all the friends i made there , hugging & screamg .
neyhhs .
soffi din't go also , she text-ed me sayg she was sick .
'smiles' but widya went . 'sighs' i wnat go so badly . but nevermind .
im going to like do my art , me & ina planned sometg that confirm would work out .
im going to do some stuff . i'll try be back on later or soemtg .
toodles .
btw , it's only u baby , that i truly love to the damned core .
'smiles'