so here i am , shaken by last night's attempt to run , again . && im postg picts form last week .
since liana complained my blog is not like her's full of picts , so here you go aye liana ?
haahs , i want get out of this house . Fast , im nearly on begging terms with hazhim to get a house , so we can shift out . 'rolls eyes' I'll follow him everywhere he goes , for sure . Just hope today would be a btter day . When i just needed you to be here , with me .

Baby, baby
When we first met
I never felt something so strong
You were like my lover
And my best friend
All wrapped into one
With a ribbon on it
And all of a sudden
When you left
I didn't know how to follow
It's like a shot
That spun me around
And now my heart left
I feel so empty and hollow

And I'll never give myself to another
The way I gave it to you
Don't even recognize
The ways you hurt me
Do you?
It's gonna take a miracle to bring me back
And you're the one to blame

And now I feel like, oh
You're the reason
Why I'm thinking
I guess that's what I get
For wishful thinking
Should've never let you enter my door
Next time you wanna go on and leave
I should just let you go on and do it
Cause now I'm using like I bleed
It's like I checked into rehab
Baby you're my disease

how did we get here , 'sighs deeply'

im bloody tired of people being scared of my eye . & im sick of changing houses very single night , im sick of going out late night . I just want to go home , snuggle into my bed and pretend that he never existed and hazhim is the only brother i have . Godd , went out with ama yesterday .

we really spent . Seriously , haahs . But i could tell form the look form her face she wasnt in teh mood to shop and her mind was somewhere else . Tried lighty conversations then . 

Went out with mummy and daddy in the morng , had to depart form nenek house damn-ed early . 'sighs'  when i saw jepon , approached her and immediately she had to notice my eye . crapp-ed .

Her face was tensed with anger and she clenched my book , demanding an answer which i revealed only after she calm-ed down . By which she got angry again , luckily mummy rang and i had to go , she patted my hair and told me to take care . Just what i needed in the morng , afternn was spent with my deary rok and shirin , i was late . Heehs , slacked until shirin had to go nad i cont to slack with rok at her house watchg a pocong movie . 'laughs' rok squeal so damn-ed funny . 

the closest i've got to family .


these couple of days have been like as tho im on a roller coaster . I really want to thank rok and shirin for spendg every waking hour with me . Making sure i was alright , rok calmg me down when i was cryg on the phone with my mum . No words can express the grattitue i have towards the both of you . I love you guys , serioulsy . Thankyouuu , for accompanyg me to the docs and the blue uni people . I woudnt have the courage to do so if you guys werent by my side . Shirin , for puttg me up at your place , thank your parents for me also . THANKYOU . I love you guys , and now i feel like cryg , again . Thankyou for tryg to figure what the hell i was talkg about when i was sobbing on the phone .
tho in between of all all the thankyou's , i have to say sorry to sab and siti & ama , for not turng up for work . Im not in the right condition to do so . My sister , my won sister is scared to look at me , the heartbreakg pain when she turns away her head . I lost my new specs , i wonder life cant just give me a break . Seriously , im so tired and all i can do is cry , again and again . I wonder why does it have to turn out this way , 'shakes head'

cause i swear this time is diff . My eyes are numb and swollen from cryg , just dont feel myself today . Went out to orchard first time by myself , dint feel lonely tho just plain sad . Collected pay , and my darn-ed phne batt going to flat , text-ed man sayg i'll wait for him till he knock off which is like a 6 and it was only four plus that time . So i headed down to borders , felt so comfortable there , no stares . No questioning looks , nothing . Search-ed for the next part of twilight , and text-ed sab , wheeww . she finished work , so decided to meet her . walkg down there, faad and his freind ran at full speed across me . 'laughs' silly willy . then met up , chilchill , went to eat at far east .
thennn , proceed-ed to search for my perfume . haahs , punyerlaa menyekse , 'shakes head' then met up with man , since he finish work alrdy . Guess everyone was not in their best of moods , so i tried to just smile it off . Went home with man , but he was too tired to conversate , i understand . haahs .
sab and danny went home first tho , with siti .
im too tired , got to wake up early and make stuff . the lines on the back of my neck are visible .

okayyy , this sucks cause i only got one pict . the picts form the previous day is with sab , so check out her blog lateron .
WEDNESDAY .
the guys were late and i had to wait , godd was so sleepyyy . GAHHHHS* then in the train , my damn-ed earpiece have to spoil , and the bangla infront of my kept thrwg glances at me . 'roll eyes' felt uncomfortable and went next to kian hau . Then reach-ed work , met up with the rest .
sab and nana and sri were all so far from me , since i dont have a table i had to stand with dexter , and this guy . While standg there and hand-signaling nana that this is so f boring , the other guy with no name came beside me and like ask-ed random stuff . i was like okayyy , and search the room for somewhere i could escape , when he ask if ca ''kenal-kenal dgn u'' 'rolls eyes'
i shook my head no , then he asked if we could be friends i then nodded and walked like far far away to man . haahs . enough ! so last night , met more freinds since gavin and kian hau dint want the OT , i hung out with sri and man and faad . i really have to thank man , cause i'd cough hard if everyone smoking , then im like the only one not . so he asked me to steer clear of there , then when they told ghost stories i couldnt handle it he made me stuff earpiece into my ear. haahs . thankyou yerrr .

so i went out  , actually was supposed to go with man . 

but he's sick , so i had to have a backup plan  . 'laughs' okayys , i didnt do much like this days .

and damn-ed ama's prepaid low again . ringmeringmeringme . headed to town , at the platform met with well , someone let's say unexpected ? yeaa . talk-ed alot , catch up with lots of things . 

thenthennn , missed ina , so went to meet here . was lost in the bloody place , haahs .

then i saw her, she look so diff . 'smiles' and in a good way tho . 'thinks hard' got seriously no idea . && i cant believe liana say my blog is depressing . I should really try a lighten the mood in here rhyt ? haahs .