sch has been stresssgggggg ! i can totally feel the pressure now . HEH . wellll welll , ina darlg is going to fetch me from sch this mondayyyy , like yay . At least there's sometg to smile aboutttt , so shitxzzz has been happening , andddd this post is going to be full of emo stuff, so if it isnt your thingg , thennn byeeee .
kay , i dont really feel like blogging , but i'd give myself a freaking brain damage if i keep this saddness in me tight in a jarrr , i feel so bottled up . & it's true what my brother said, when the whole world goes wrong , it's yur family u run to .

here it goes ,
in this room of mine , time stand stilll .
hours and seconds ticked by , but yet it all seems so meaningless without you .
you said things change , it's me .
im getting really tired , and im hating all that i've known . i find it hard to say , while you find it hard to care .
it burns me deep inside , this silence betweens us is so loud till it's tormenting . but , they say good things dont last , when i badly wanted this to .

it's my fault.it's my fault.it's my fault. & i only got myself to blame , this sleepless nights turn into days while im still waiting for your return .
can u hear me ? im callg u , reachg out for you . yearng for you .
but you dont care , you cant see . i find it so hard to smile , im falling and it's such such a long way down . i wont live a lie , i miss you and it set hundred of torns into my heart seeing you .
what i'd give to hear to say my name again , this is so hard . what can i say , i love you and im sorry , i should have just told u how i felt .

this silence is leading me into never ending streams of tears , u cant even begin to understand how it hurts . you broke me .

heyyooo , im sick of techonology so why you sit on top of me , 'laughs'

i havent been updating , and also posting pictures , so hereeee .

basically first week of sch was H-O-R-R-I-B-L-E . stressg like crap , with coursework due .

i dont know to how many people i complain that coursework is dued . gagagss ,

everytime we fight we blow it out of porpotion , it's tiring , and honestly i cant seem to understand you , no matter how hard i try to accept you for who you are . it's becoming a rountine and it's so hard to get out off .

i know i shouldnt be brooding about this , and drag on . but serioulsy , i cant help it .

i want to sort out my thinkg this time .

& if you choose to hurt me , do it quickly .

get it over and done with .

would give up everytg for one moment with you , for one moment is better than a lifetime of not knowing you .

sometimes i just wished i could see through your darn-ed head . dont to this to me , just let it go .

headed mizah's crib t bake this treats for our loved ones , i already immediately had like three people in my mind . thought it was going to take longer , but it took us less than 3 hours , fast ?
was so glad that i was abled to pass them the treats , but seems like they .. i dont know .
ughhh , shall stop freting .

p.s : quit playing games with my heart .

love,
crystal embers

i hate you , i hate you , my hate for you doesnt even come close to the amount of this whole giantic universe . it's you who started this off , i tried to be nice and started textg you , im always the one startg the conversation , when was it ever you ? faking stories to other people behind my back , and tellg everyone what i do , where i go .
ouhh ehyy , here's and idea , why dont you go brodcast all my movements to CNN or sometg . God , sucha low-life .
& your so bloody selfish , i had never not share with you what ever i know , teach you what you failed to understand , and fix you up when you're broken .
but you just left me at lurch when i most needed you , despite all this i stand by you when everyone was agaisnt you , held yur head up high , afaird to make you look down and see all the horrible stuffs that is happenning . guard yur back , where were you ?
hiding behind all your so-called friends ? .

guess what ? i hate you , and get this . i dont freaking about you and yyour bullshit , or how you cover everytg up sayg you're just being straight forward , if you're being straight fowrad, why dont you f ssay it to my face ? instead of going around people about it ? fuckkk , if you're my friend , tell me face to face , and sort it out .

& i know eveyrtg fucking thing you did , rightt here 'points to head' & im not afaird to let it all out .

headed down t sentosa with the girls yesterday , the weather was like freaking haute , which set off a few arguements . Hehh , but overall , mummy & daddy ( ama & khaikhai ) kept us super sastified . The place there wasnt intially packed but it became packed a little after 5 , when the weather cooled . I had my fortune read , i can totally relate t it actually , only what she says about present seems to be worryg , but i shouldnt fret since like it all could be false aye ?

chilledchilled , then when comes shower time we had to walk a long way to the toilet and wait like an hour for only a few girls infront of us , 'screws face' anyone heard of showering at home later on ? dont have t like spa for 30 minutes inside , so unconsiderate .

anyways i had fun , despite my big shorts 'grins' and a few hiccups , i wsihed the weather dint have t be so hot . Lookg at all the couples in the water , just made me miss ___ even more , futhermore after the conversation we had the night before till nearly 4 .

amazing how things change , it takes a little bit of tryg . Im startg to , are you ?

well , yesterday's pit was superb , eventho a few pad alot of eople turn-ed up . headed down to wild wild wet , then headed down back t the pit . i found a tiny star-fish , well actually ama found the starfish and showed me, heh . It didnt move tho , blehh .

& and girl that girl actually tried t push me into the waterrr , gahhs* my hair all wet , haahs .

sorry zuzu about yur nikon ! my fault my fault . we slacked till like 10 plus ? then wanted t head home , my darn-ed dad locked me out of my house and was forced t sleep outside , amongst the other things that happened .

sleepg outside in the cold was no fun at all , headed back inside only a little after 8 am . 'screws face'

i realise i cant amke someone be there for me , eventho the person is the one i most expected t be there for me . well , nobody said that this was going t be easy at all , come what may , i'll just take baby steps at a time .

with love ,

crystal embers .

im bacckkk :)

i uploaded this vid of baby kilah , have a look 'smiles'

& i got my hands all full taking care of baby kilahhh . She's just so damn-ed cute , and she makes me laugh when im at my lowest with her forever demanding squeals .

godd , i love her .

I CALL FOR A FAMOUS 7 OUTG THIS SAT . text me , you guys know how to reach me . do come alryt .

stressg and stressg aint worth it anymore , cause im nothing when you're not with me . But this is too much , how could sometg so worong be so righttt .

say goodnight and let me go .