Budak selengeh transformed ? No ? Okay .
It's been centuries since I updated , cause all my updates are in my drafts or my new diary <3
So blogger dead , but today I feel like typing instead of writing so just let me be . Had a , well how do I put it ? Emotional talk with my clique just now ; they made me cry like a small kid . They say I'm sensible but when it comes to love I'm just a weakling , of course I fought to justify myself otherwise but it seems like well yeah , I'm always so afraid to lose the other party that I tend to think of the worst possible scenarios even if she's not doing it . I'm just paranoid like that , love ? What's that . It's finally over , I should say that with a hint of relief but instead fat sobby tears roll down my cheeks everytime I hear her voice or she her smile . MOVE ON , how do I ? She gave me so much to remember , we practically grew up together . Moving on seems so easy for her to do , I don't even sense a tinge of sadness coming from her . Moving on means letting go everything we had , forgetting it , making it another chapter in my life called memories . With time it will fade , I'll probably forget how much I truly love her and yearn for her . But that's the thing , I DON'T want to forget , I want to keep this going . Mistakes both of us , I know . It did made us stronger every single one of it , I'm saying sorry . But I do still love you , behind this strong front which won't ever admit that I still do . I yearn for you and I will always hold a place for you in my heart . When you read this I probably won't be talking to you , cause I can't stand to be freinds with someone I dearly love and looking you in the eye unable to hold you . It kills me to see you , you have no idea seriously . I don't want you to continue to see me cry for you , swollen eyes and eyebags , I don't want that for you . Know that even if we're not talking I do think of you , every night . You're still the first and last person that is on my mind now and forever , I don't care what people say . I love you S . It will always be S.S .
