'covers eyes and trys to breathe'
syabir came home last night , the was this session of down and talk with him while eatg .
i feel so uncomfortable , there's only one person that i can joke about his arse too . 'sighs'
it seems that he changed for the better i swear && right now im even using his lappie . cause hazhim chnaged the password again . GAHHS*
i don't know , i feel so unstable right now .
'hits self'
im sorry , im bloddy crappy effing sorry .
i dint know why i had to change , why i had to be this way , things just happen you know ?
i know i promised you sometg & i said i'd do it , but you know that i can't just bring myself to .
crapp girl , i do miss those times i used to laugh till my tummy aches over silly stuff like armpit hair , i do , i do .
im pretending , can't you see ? too make everytg seem alryt . ccrap i missed you .
but i know , somehow , you hate me for being this way . somehow , you feel as though there should been sometg you should have done to stop me . it's not your fault it never was .
sometimes , when i think back , im like yeahh , where's 'me' ? the one that laugh till you'd hold yur tummy grasping to stop , or crying with ya trying to make things better .
but i guess , im so worried about so many things you know , but i just cant put it into words and deliver it out to you , which i would rather not put it out here .
&& you dint lose a freind , i know those heart pierceing words were all for a cause , but when you said that you dint want to talk to me or whatsoever hurts most , cause i cant even make it better for you , or at least try .
but most of all , i'd like you to know that you din't lose a freind ,not now not ever .
remember what you said to me the last time we fought , that made me cry in the bus until i cant see clearly .
you said sometg like , '' i won't stop you from going , but if you do , please give me one last hug and let me know'' sometg like that i think . 'tears fall'
through it all , i'd still try and be there for you .