o's are officially overrrrr ! i think that im like the last one to state that . haahs , well .
anyways , i just finish watchg my sister's keeper , due to the o's all the interestg movies had to be put on hold . well , i read the book at first , which made me cried like a baby . & amazingly the movie was superb . seriously you should watch it , it makes me want to go to syida and hug and kiss her smelly arse face . heh . it really shows you the lengths a parents would go to , just to keep you alive and kickg . heartwarmg story .

i was bold , i was courageous , and took the risk to love you but i'd rather be alone then to let my heart be abused by you , time and time again . im sick of it , but as much as i want to say that i dont care , i do . as much as i want to say that i dont love you anymore , i do . & the worst part is , i'd still want to relive every moment spent with you , eventho we are constantly fightg and disagreeing . face it , i got no idea why in the world im writing all these down when it still makes me feel like crap .

& who am i to say that you love me .

it's like when I'm standing six feet away from you and not being able to tell you how much i love you cause whatever i say would somehow just piss you off further . & it's when i am really sad about something and need someone to talk to that i realize that you're the only one that really knew me at all . And it's when i cry myself to sleep at night and it hits me how much i'd give to hold you at that exact moment in time , and it's when i think about you and i realize that like catching lighting someone like you is difficult to lose , hard to forget and certainly worth remembering .

i swear they were bullying me 'pouts' hehh .

if only liana was here eyh ? it would be complete .

exclusiveeeee stolen picts from sabs ! heeh , 'grins'

so firstly we were the most kecohrable group in sab's house , secondly i had so much fun i feel like puking ! haahs , in a good way .

so long since i met with them , since we all so busy with sch and work , it's refreshing to see them and just laugh like we used to . i miss you guys . 'smiles'

plus , im f stresssssssss . damn-ed it . killer o's over and done with pleaseee ? last night's phone call made me reflect , this isnt who i wanna be .

this is henna , superb-ly nice rightttt .

baby im back :(

'smiles widely' i seriously think that ama is an extended part of my family alr ,she & khaikhai . heh , so last night i went to gay-lang again .it was so packed and suffocating , seriously , and i lost my mum and dad 4-5 times ? hahahs , then this gundu head ama text-ed me where am i and all . asswipe , i had t ask her 3 times who's car she was in , and she still dint answer . now then i figured that she was in khaikhai family carrr .. dangs . so then they folow me go get the kuih-kuih when we stumble across the kuih shop , with a effg hot guy with the most heartmeltg.kneewobblg. eyes u'd ever seen . ser-ious-ly . HAHA , okay enough . thennn , we cross the road t the other side , when i saw the same bapok that was in the train with me and hahzim last year , and he was like leang towrds hazhim and peering at his phone . & that bapok was like brushg his hair aside and smiling t himself , and when he walks into a crowd lookg gives way to him as if he has some contagious sickness . 'sighs' i feel for him .

thenn ,

walked walked , say bye t khaikhai , ama cabbed home with us .

i would like t wish everyone , a this certain somebody , selamat hari rayer , maaf zahir and batin . i hope , that whatevr wrong doing i did , or anytg that i have said withoutsecond thoughts that has hurt you , you would forgive me . 'smiles'

lastly,

you're like a miracle to me , but you're slippg from my grasp , slowly but surely .

thoughts they change and times they rearrange , i dont know who you are anymore , i'll just let it be , always will , and always have been lu .

helllooo wellooowww dirty fellow .
yess love , u do make the good girls go BAD ! kayyy feelg down on my bdae !
gahss * welll , firstly thankyou for the presents and the all so sweet wishes . 'smiles widely with crooked teeth showg'

pleasee pleasee my girls try and make it tmrw , i miss u all :((((((
just berbuka puasa tgher in peace can ? shirin , rok , mai , ateenn go larrr . i wont force u all if cannot , heh .

i miss someone badly , cause last year she was the first to wish me and she sanggup bake for me . effg sweet , it's the thought that counts . kay i miss u , i wished it dint have to be this way . & thankyou for your goodluck .'smiles'

alahaiiii , i stil need to studyy , damn-ed . takecare everyone , smile cause u'll never know what is ahead , and t you , thankyou for eveyrtg , opening my eyes every single time . thankyou thankyou , spendg the day with me .
i'll never stop doing what i do best , lu .

The way that I’m feeling is hard to describe . I feel lost and alone in this unbearable life .
My emotions are twisted, my stomach in knots . I wish there was something to erase my thoughts .
I feel so desperately clingy I feel so free of heart . If you could please just kiss me that would be a great place to start
I do not like the feeling of not knowing how you feel . I don’t like looking in your eyes and seeing all my fears .
I really feel so empty searching for the light . Maybe if you could please turn it on tonight .
My head is all clouded my eyes full of tears . I can hold on to this feeling for years
I hope that is passes, maybe merely a phase . I am ready to be out of this daze
I am going to try to fake my smile . Maybe that will last for a while .
If you think you see a smile on my face . Look a little deeper you’ll see I’m out of place
Maybe someday soon the sun will shine . Even through the pain i pray that you are always mine.

with much love ,
syima .

my fingers are numb from hours of paper cutting , i wanna finish it so badly , but if i do it too quick i'd mess it up with my impatience .

slow and steady is the way to play the game people . haahs , kay enough .

actually , i feelg kinda sad ? dissapointed , in agony . hahh , i dont even have the perfect vocab for it .

i thought that by now i would have learnt , but still i made the same mistake again and again .

it's time i really open my eyes to see who's there for me and who isnt , guess what ? you're not part of it .

gahhs * enough about u and yur crap alreadyyy .

somehow you manage to kept me without chains , and hold me without a touch .

u wont believe when i say that i never wanted anything this much .

and as i live here on my knees , im trying to make you see that you're eveyhing i need .

my gravity .

maybe.someday.you.shall.see.i.want.you.here.with.me.