I want to start writing in a diary again , the way I used to years back . Filling my diaries with emo-sad crap embarrassing and awkward things that only one person can , other then me , can read . 'sighs' You know what , I really don;t feel like myself anymore . I don;t feel like doing anything most of the time , my time is always spend on work & sleeping and well spending time with rian . I no longer to Syima's stuff no more .

Do you know the nostalgic feeling when you hear a certain song or smell a certain a smell and it reminds you of someone ? Well I'm feeling that now . Maybe it's because I had that dream last night . after so long I cried for her again . Ugh , why do I constantly do this to myself . This song is bringing tears to my eyes , once again . Once again , Im crying for you . Once again , I still feel something , something strong enough to move me to tears again . Despite the fact that the truth is out , despite knowing that 3 years with you was all a lie . ALL A LIE , why do I feel this way fuck .

'sighs deeply' what happen to the love we thought we had ?