Cause You Took Me In & You Believed .

Heyo ,

Dint slept well last night and wake up early morning to follow baby to orchard to take her mummy's cream at taka . Expensive sia , $412 eyh ? I think so around there . Then we went seperate ways and i headed to work was nearly late , again . And after work , I did the most stupid thing imaginable , and I seriously would not repeat it . Aiyerr , feeling so worned out cause I dint sleep properly last night I was eager to get home . Sheeshh , so headed to the handicap's toilet to get change , and put my bag in the sink . I got change , then while i was doing my hair , I was like what's that sound , it sounds like running water . So i checked the sink , the tap was those that operate automatically when you put yur hand under the tap . So placing my bag there , it activated the water and my whole bag was filled with water . GAHHS*

I know , so dumb of me sia . Firstly I checked my phone , luckily none of the water got to it cause i put it in another compartment . But my poor mp3 was dunk in water , and it isnt workg anymore 'super sad face' birthday present frm my brother , and I only lasted with it for like one year plus ? 'sighs' my earpiece survived also , luckily sia .

but the rest of my stuff , like my makeup and perfume and shoes and clothes were all wet . Super unlucky , I then text Hazhim , bloody hell . He laughed at me what the hell right ? aiyer . I text baby , then she called me , kene scold sia . Heh .

Anyhoots reached home , & mummy started nagging . I so pissed with myself about my mp3 and she's adding on , didnt want to fight with her so I headed to my room and slept for awhile . & so here I am . My legs are giving way , and call me a sick ass but I feel like going back to school . Less stress , and I dont feel like shit everytime I wake up . Give me time , I'm trying to get up again , cause you once brought me so high up and then threw me all the way down . So with broken limbs and a faintly beating heart , I'm getting up .

so many posts saved in drafts , maybe it's meant to be unspoken .

stung , sweet nothings .

firstly im dead tired , but i cant bring myself to sleep .

so work was work ? seriously tiring , and im like slidinge everywhere , eversince the sales and late night shopping went on , there is a never ending stream of customers , which throw my neatly piled up clothes that i just fold into a mountain within split seconds . YEAAAA , it's that crazy back at our stall . There's hardly anytime t sit or drink a sip of water . endure syimaaaa .

today i'll let it out .

how u expect me to feel ? to jump for joy , and feel relieved ? i took all your words and i belived . i dint doubt you cause i trusted you , and see what you left me with . how i wish i could take it all back , all the silly "i love you's" you muttered , to you they mean nothing . you dont say to someone i love you unless you really really mean it , dont tell me you did . save it .

you said it yourself , that you were good with words hell yeah you were , so much that i belived , what a silly thing to do . if it's love , nothing would stop you from being with me , nothing .

you would cross boundaries , break through walls , just to be with me .

i dont think that you would understand what's love , it's sacrifice . im done tellg you what to do , caring for you when all i get it hurt . i should have seen the warning signs , listen to my baby .

you're exactly what she describe you as . god , seriously . after so long , i fall again , yet you just dont know how t treat me . after i finally opened up my heart to you after pushg you away , you leave me .

& guess who came t my rescue at 3 am in the morng crying for you ? i know you guessed it right . she came armed and heal me , i seriously cant belive that she'd would do that . now that's what i call love , it's understanding . she took me in at my worse even after i betrayed her , what do you have t say about that ? god , i love her . she listened , and understand .

i hope that you're happy now that you broke me , open up my heart , ripped a piece of it and ran away .

i told myself after my ex , i'd never cry for a guy ever again . but there you go breaking me .ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh .

I LIKE SUPERRRR PISSED RIGHT NOW .
thanks alot laa mummy and daddy , forever never changing .
keep your soothg words for someone who is listening , im done .

i miss this girl rightt here . u asswipe , 'sighs'

wellllll , here goes .

Im bored & this probably could be the last day im free . Or well , have alot of free time in my hands . Sat down and think about alot of things .

Baby just called . It's ok if you dont want to show me , heh . I'll see you soon enough , i cant wait till monday . 'grins' I guess we both screwed up the first part , but i believe that we still huddle through this period of time , if you'd just take my hand . I'll show you that i'd never leave you . Time and time again , i ask myself , why do i love you . Yet , i still dont know how to answer that question , maybe it's the way you always know how i feel and think without saying it to me . Or maybe , it's the way you'd get me pissed for a stupid reason , and then somehow just a text from you would somehow melt me , and i'd forgive you . Maybe it's the way you'd made all these super cute faces on webcam that would make me laugh like a stupid person infront of the lappy . Maybe it's the way yur eyes sparkle when yur tired , that somehow makes me just wanna rub yur cheeck . 'smiles' ahhh , i could go on and on , but i know what you'd be thinkg rightt babyy , "mampos , stop it siaa , mushy " . nyehs .

ironically , somehow the ones that hurts you the most is still the one you choose to stay with , not bcus you're afaird to let go , but simply cause you love them too much already .

So , went to town just now , early morng . Met nadrah , for awhile then she parted off from me to meet her family for lunch . While i started to wander around orchard , ALONE , ama would be so proud of me 'grins' . When i bumped into her , i swear i dint even notice her coming towards me . Until she bumped into me so hard that my mp3 jerk out of my hand and onto the floor . Thankyou so much , like yay . So i looked up and look at her , and i went "shittttt...." . After so long trying to avoid her and cease all connections with her , there she is staring at me straight in the eye , smilling as though she just found a buried treasure . So i was like " errr , so sorry .. " then started walking really fast , but she followed me and pulled me by the hand jerking me backwars , violent ass . 'sighs' she wanted to talk , luckily desiree text , thank god . DESIREE MARIE CHELLIAH , I LOVE YOU SIA . so i said , " crapp , my mum just text-ed she's waiting for me at borders , i'll catch up with you soon kay ? you takecare ! 'gives a big fake smile and walks off ' " .. after so long , i put along with all the crap i did , i put her in the past . Sometg i never never wish to open and reminise back , me and baby had a huge fight bcus of her . I swear it wont happen again .

i love you baby , im headg to check out hazhim's new lappy and call baby .

Dont lie and say it's ok . It's alright , there's nothing more to say . So im running away , im leaving this place . Dont tell me im the one to blame . It's too late for you to make me stay , no, i wont stay . And faster than you can follow me from this lonely place . And further than you can find me , Im leaving . Im leaving today , and i , i'll never let you find me . Im leaving you behind with the past .& No , i wont look back , i dont want to hear your reasons , i dont want you telling me why i should stay . Ant try to understand me , when i say i cant bear to stay .

Im okay . Im okay . Im okay . Im okay . Im okay . Im okay . Im okay , maybe by repeating it a thousand times i would then mean it . I stayed home the whole day with "syabir" , the akwardness between us created friction which set off a few arguements , & yeaa i was scared to my bone but luckily nothing happen .

Was seriously drained from yesterday , eventhough the event wasnt very big . But there were alot of complications due to the burst of first timers on the scence , & so i was running everywhere , and was very very pissed when the stupid china guys just leave their soiled dishes on the tray and keep stacking them up till they are like mountain high . 'screws face' not only that , still can use phone during service , wth sia seriously . So , i a freaking girl had t carry the tray to the decoy , i kept telling myself i'd grow muscles to stop myself from scoldg them all the coarse language in my dictionary . haahs , but too bad one chee-NA guy got a preview of it , stupid sia , i carrying the tray already then he still has the cheeck to add more plates , instead of taking it from me and carrying it . arsehole .

Cause im still hanging on to another day to see what you'd throw my way , and im still hanging on to every single words you say . Im willing to change , but you just keep pushg me away again and again . How is it you're able to bring me so high up one day and all the way down the next day , i dont get you . Quit playing games with my heart , i dint know "with who" was a damn-ed diffcult question to answer . Ahhh , screw it .

hey , the pict was like druing puase, but my blog is so dull without picts .

so was supposed t head to the gym with ama , and there was an ongoing debate between me & ama to go gym or swim . i wonnnn , hee .

anyways , went t baby's crib early in the morng after getting baby's text , dint do much just spend quality tiem with each other 'smiles' ate breakfeast since it's before 12 with baby and watch biggest loser , stubborn little baby dint sleep the whole nightt , so baby was like pretty sleppyyy , yayaydaa , thanks baby fr the treat . yur unique sense of thinkg always sets me to think about what you said in more depth .

i cant keep this inside of me , i just need t say it out loud . baby was so sweet , i playfully say i want t break then baby say "break to get married with you okayy!" haahs , sweettttt nahh . i had fun with you baby , i love you .

anyhoots , ama is meetg me like right nownownow , she's cumg , but where is she ? stuck smwhere i guess . hehhh .

im back , 'grins like a physco'
im feelg asthough im about to cry any second , but im going to blog it out okay ?
so slept my aunty house for two days , cause my aunt and her husband and my nenek went t msia , so it's left with her kids only , so she invited us to stay overr .
the first nightt i ran back to my cousin house cause of this "guy" , stalker . 'screws face' then actually we had plans to movie marathon the night away , butt instead my cousin's irratatingly annoying low life sick in the head boyf had to disturb our peace . ugh .

was pissed out and decided to watch tv , laalal then sleep . the next day we headed for breakfeast at mac and rented cds for the night . i was so sleepy so i went back to catch up on some sleep , but when i was sleepg i was thinkg about baby till i fell down the sofa dreamg abt us . 'laughs' sicksick . frustrated , rang ama , she was at civic centre buying parking tickets ? haahs , met up and had lunch and found out sometg i dint need to know 'screws face' met baby for awhile then head home . was supposed t meet again later at night but , baby was sick so it's alright . talked on the phone with baby while watchg "coming soon" the thing was i wasnt to scared to watch and i was just lookg at the screen with my eyes close and talkg to baby , hehh . i had nightmares afterwards, darn the ghost .

thenn just now headed to yio chu kang to book fr dona her car pract and her stupidirratatggdfornothingarsehole boyf keep callg and i dealt with her once and fr all , safe t say i make them break ! yayyy , dona was like happy she was miling frm ear t ear sia . so long she want t break with that sucker .
then met my mum and my sissy while dona went tamp , so we had like bondg time bwtn the three of us , it was sweeetttt . 'smiles' i miss my mummy .
was too tired t head out with them fr dinner so i went home call baby , cause sometg sucky happen but i had to put down before i start cryg . then call ama , who asked me to call her back , 'sighs'

so here i am , making use of people isnt in my nature , so it's up to you really . darn-ed it , baby i need you real bad now , i miss you . come home real soon kay .

with love ,
syima .

i dont fear the dark or thunders , at great heights i jump off smiling .
in the face of death , i wink . but when i look into your eyes im in fear of how much i love you .

A . darlg , for the first time in my whole freindship with you i really saw you sobbed . So many times you saw me cry fr someone uncontrollaby , but this time i got the chance to see it . it moved me , and it goes to show how much you really care for that person . i know he loves you very much , please try to stay strong . you can come over if you like , i'd make sure i'll cheer u up till yur rollg on the floor laughg . cause i love you so dearly , and it hurts to see you hurtg that way . even i dont make you cry ... 'sighs' be strong my darlg .

ahhhh , yesterday was fun . went out with the apache group members , was supposed to be the 8 of us , then only 5 turned up . but anyhoots i had fun , we watched case 39 , i admit i screamed . haahs , but i tried coverg my mouth so i wouldnt , gaaahs . then went to eat but we couldnt decide between mac spicy and long john's fish . haahs , so we sat at mac until i dont feel like eat mac spicy , so we went to long john instead . bought and ate then slacked around and went orchard , to head ito ion then to borders where we tried this freakly oujia book . I SHALL NOT ELABORATE , haahs . we ask about our o's and ..... ahh shutup , so not true . then head to esplanade talk talk , and then head home , when sometg unfortunate happened , dadaaadaaa . i love you ama chillax .

love , im sorry bout last night . rember out date ? long sleeves and tied up hair ? i promise , take me there kay pleaseeee . i miss you already , 'sighs' i want go over yur place can ? eyy , but today hari rayer haji eyy , esok ? anyways know what love ? the most perfect day would be waking up to you next to me , bathe and get dress and then have breakfeast together while watchg movies in each other's arms , and when the sun sets , we would end up falling asleep in each others arms . damn-ed it , mushy .

CONGRATS ZUZU ! finally got a job at cotton job , must give me discount when i shop there kay !

so today was err , hectic ? yeaaa , cause i had so many things to deal with , rang mizah and got dressed in the nick of time and met here , and i thought she was going t be late . somehoe , she's never late . darn-ed it .

go grab some stuff , and got sometg for the bday girl and headed home .

shall not say what i did , for people who know shushh kay ? please ? i'd bribe you with sweets if you dont telll , 'winks'

so , Nur Amalina Binte Ariffin ( i hope i got yur spellg rightt) HAPPY 17TH BDAY ! like finally , you're the last amoung all f7 , eventhough people say you are mature then me , ughh whatever . haahs . i love you to bits and pieces , and i can never never be without you , thankyou for always pullg me through my ups and downs and being there for me for 3 years . to me , you are more then just a freinds , you're like a little sister to me . & i know that you're not good with words , so when you see what i get you tmrw just give me a hug would you ? haahs .

i love you ama .

baby , where did you go , no text or calls from you , hmms . 'sighs'

due to some unseen large bulging circumstances , i'll just say monday i had a blast , 'smiles sheepishly'

anyhoots , yesterday i went out again , it is really starting to wear me down , going out everyday . im like side tracking again , ermm so yeaa went home and saw my house gate was fully open , and the house was pitch black . slowly i stepped into the house as my eyes adjusted to the intensity of light in the house , only then did i make out a figure sitting on the sofa . my first instinct was to run , but i sloqly approach the sofa and pat the back of the person , darn-ed it my mum's voice made me jump sia . haahs , i thought she was possessed or sometg sittg in the dark , but when she stared nagging i know it was her .

'smiles' why she was sittg in the dark ? she throw hot water onto this lizard which hit the circuits thus blackout & and she say the lizard curse her , 'rolls eyes'

hazhim & me ask her to shussh while we investigate the damage , fortunately we got the lights on . but now we have to change the stove , haahs .

at first u made me extremely upset , cause it's so hard to see that you care , and when you do show it , it's just for awhile . but what you said has really opened my eyes , thankyou . i dont want that way , but i need yur guidance kay ? like you said , i'd change for myself and not for you , to be a better person . somehow , & u said that u love me , it was sometg i really wanted to hear for so long . so let's bring it back slowly , i love you .

aye hoots , im like feelg down so decided to render my thoughts here .
firstly , i know that you feel unsecure and uncertain about my feelings for you , but rest your little head cause you know i do .
& i hate to see you creasg yur eyebrows and trying to pretend asthough you dont feel a thing , cause i know you do .
all i need from you , is love , care and attention . show it to me , i'll give you the same and even more . cause i need you so , if i were to say why i love you so this whole blog would be filled with mushy mushy things , haahs .

like u always say , takmu emo-momo , SMILE , cause im here with you , and i dont plan to leave anytime soon , have a little faith .

two same picts but somehow only louisse eyes seems t had moved .

REDDDD CAMPP IS SO EFFING HOTTTTTT

and the apaches is the hottest tribe in town . haahs , i had a BLAST . especially during hot nighttt . made some really cool freinds that made red camp even more worth remberg .

went there with hashiena and ama , then we were grouped with louisse and this other girl , shoot i forget her name , but she was uper-freindly . we had to construct a sometg with a pingpong ball , it's to complex to explain , heh . anyways , our team won movie tickets ! yadaaaa . third day was certainly worth rememberg , it was so sad i wanted to bawl . darn-ed , we met the singapore idols and also had hot night which is like so called clubbg with no alcohol , haahs .

louisse did his thing on the dance floor with this 'face'while we dragged each other all over the place . see louisse , no point regretg now aye ! should had dance with me when u had the chance . 'laughs'

& he said i should take control of my 'date' for the nightt . haahs , if you're readg this dont kill me ! and take care of my pandaaaaaaa and thankyou for never leavg me alone when i was seperated frm my girls , u always had my back . & showg yur merajuk face when i say i dint need you , haahs . :) &&&& louisse lastly it wasnt my fault that i dint bring the movie tickets !