Tell me , if everything happens for a reason . What's the reason for me to feel this way ? If Allah created obstacles so we can overcome it , when will I see the light after being in the tunnel for so long . Im suffocating , I'm so weak . I want to cry , but what difference will it make ? Im pass telling people what's wrong when I know they cant help me . TALK TO MY PARENTS ? FOR FUCKS SAKE , they are so scared they would scream at me to shut up if he's mad . Fuck , I don't want to be this way anymore . This is my desperate cry for help , one last time , before removing everything about myself from this world . Thye say Allah don't give you something you can't handle , then why do people take their own lifes ? Why do they become insane ? After hurting so long , it seems like hurting is the only way to feel sane . I don't expect you to know how Im feeling , or find the right words to say . The least you could do is still be there even after I blown you off so many times . Not be mad at me just because I'm sarcastic . Guess I was wrong , no one can really understand me except for myself .

It's been sucha long time since I blogged . Well actually I just feel like it. I feel as though everything is slipping through my fingers, I want to let lose , but my girlf is the only person that is holding me back.You have no idea how bad things are in such a mess now days, I can only afford to tear up everytime , I wish to tell I do . I wish to let people know how bad I'm hurting , but then again , I'm just scared I'll tear and appear weak . 'sigh' I hate being in this place feeling so low , seriously , I'm not like this . Why did I chose to degrade myself this way. Rian tries her best I know she does , I don;t always acknowledge that fact , but I do realize and appreciate it . She just doesn't know it yet .
Why , why do I feel so lost & restless . It's as thugh everything is all over the place , well , in some way or another , it is .

I miss the girl that would once make other people's happiness her first priority . I've become so bitter , 'sighs' You showed me once , could you please show me once more ?