My darlgs, that I can't seem to live without.

 Eventhough I'm older than them, I always get bullied. Heh

 Before Sundown Marathon.

WOAH, so last night was really tiring. Now I now how it feels to sleep in the rain, kay I did not sleep but I can imagine the uneasiness. This is why I can never be a guy eventhough I very much want to. KIDDING. There's people wanting to faint, puke all over the place. The number of casualties last night was overwhelming, but all in all it was a good experience. 


I learnt last night that rats aren't scared of our stomping feet, dumb fat rats. This thurs is my last practical test and I'm done for this term! Ohhh, tomorrow's napha as well. UGH. I haven't been training. Once it's my holidays, Im gonna work out again. Slowly, by myself I guess...


Being with you has opened my eyes and I won;t fight for you if you don't want me to. I don;t want to be running after you when you don't want to be caught. I'll just annoy you like I already have which will someway or another lead to something undesirable, for me at least. I miss you without a doubt, but I'll still be here, bruise and wounded by still stubborn needing to be in your life.

I may not be able to completely get over you, but I shall try. Plus, furthermore you have already started searching, I guess. The things you once said to me, you're now saying it to another girl. 'I'm outfield, I'll be back tomorrow. Be safe." 

Somewhere at the back of my mind I already knew that this was going to happen. Always thought that you could come to me, but I was wrong. Zuzu really sorted my thoughts just now morning. 


Yesterday during OAC, we had intensive training, no seriously it was really intensive. So there's this one part that we all had to run to the bench in a few seconds, then when I reached the bench my friend was turning towards me and me towards her so her head hit my cheekbone area with a crack. Unconsciously, I squatted down crying, seriously painful. I accidentally bit my lip as well cause they told me that there's blood in my mouth. My cheekbone is so painful :(




AHHHH, Khai is the sweetest I swear. He always text me when I'm crying or down and out seriously. I think finally he's finally starting to learn me and know that we can never be more than friends ever (: I'm so proud of him. Siti Khairul,hehehe. I know you won't read this, but thank you for taking care of me. Making me smile whenever I'm feeling down by letting me step all over you, you seriously remind me of my own brother. MEHE.

What does this mean? I somehow just can't register it in my head. I fee as though I just wanna push everyone aside and have some me time, with maybe someone who can make me laugh. LAUGHING, what ever happened to that? I burned my finger while playing with fire. I expected you to at least let me have the decency to know. But no, you didn't let me have that favor, Im so sick of this.


My lover,my bestf who just doesn't want to feel what it's like being me. To try to put yourself in my shoes, to feel me. You just choose to ignore it and let your own emotions consume you. Im not comparing but if it was you here, I'll fucking be there for you even if it hurts me cause at the end of the day it's your happiness that is most important.


I  was wrong about everyone, Im to blame for this. Forcefully I have to swallow this bitterness,if this is love I rather not feel at all.

Hi smellies lillies, I'm sick :( What's new :/ Nursing is really tough, it's even harder if you have no passion for it cause you can just flop. I'm glad I have this bunch of classmates to pull me through, I have never felt so motivated and driven for so long. Damn, I went to the dentist too just now after heading to the poly. I did scaling and polishing for my teeth and also to check up on my wisdom tooth which is a pain in the ass, it seems like I have a gum infection due to the growth of the wisdom tooth, he advice me to remove the gum, but I want to remove the teeth completely. He also asked me to get braces but damn that's expensive, woah. But Im considering to do it though, get it of all my mouth problems.