i know most of you all saw this pict alrdy , but my post is already so bloody boringg . heh .
like so , o level mother tongue is this mondayy , i swear im not preapredddd . It's like so soon , in a way , & i suck at malay . pfft*

i was flippg through all my old diaries and lookg through all my old picts , readg and studying every aspect of everyone's face as though i can go back to that exact time . 'sighs' i cant change this , i can only adapt .

screw this. ugh , when did everyone become so independent , why am i still this way ? is it sometg you learn over time , or get used to ? i'm countg on you t pull me through this , i know i never told you how much im clinging on t you , but it's clear for everyone t see . Im sorry , im sorry . Im not like how you want me to be , i dont like lepak-ing everyday i find it very tiring .
truth is im scared t death , shirin catches things all so fast , she doesnt need t study hard .
i do , i dont want t screw this year . i can already feel the pressure my parents are puttg on me , i was never scared t show them my report book , but this time i am . Im failing everytg , im not smart or hardworkg . That's why i choosed t stray , thinkg it would pull my grades up . Then things got akward , i dont even know how t open a topic when i see you guys anymore .
godd , im so sorry . what i say know makes no diff , so you guys , if i try and change , would you guys still let me in ?

well , today was the cheerg comp . I swore we praticed like crapp , butt still we did our best aye ?
damn-ed atiqah grabbed my hand so tightly when we were going out , i swear i was as nervous as her , 'grins' even tho we dint came through as winners , we did our bes & we are winners in our hearts kay ? GOOOOO N2 ! 'laughs' kay i stop this , o levels is like next weekkkkk , im stressg . woooo*
fightg and fightg , sick of it y' know ? i thought it was supposed t pull us closer together , but it's just tearg us apart , and deep down i bury my feelgs , plasterg a fake smile on my face as tho i dont know what you did . Butt , the fact is i did , let me be in my own world kay .
curiousity killed the cattt , in this case , it broke my heart and you're the person that has made me afaird t love again .

a little bit longer , and i'll be fine .

VIRGO - The Perfectionist (Aug 23 - Sept 22)
Dominant In relationships. Conservative. Always wants the last word. Argumentative. Worries. Very smart. Dislikes noise and chaos. Eager. Hardworking. Loyal. Beautiful. Easy to talk to. Hard to please. Harsh. Practical and very fussy. Often shy. Pessimistic.

that's like sooo true , well . Ystd night , someone made me smile t the screen like one lunatic , 'laughs' my sissy was like whatttt is wrong with this girl . heh .
all yur fault laa . Anyways , yesterday was one of those night where i really feel contented and happy , anyways i started biting my nails again , familiar ?'groans' damn-ed . haahs . you tell , i tell kay ?

startg over is what i wanted but dint expected t come out from you , i guess it's meant t heal these wounds that are left too long in the open . everytime i recieve a text , im like yay . It's darlg again , heh . Well , so here it is , when u confronted me that way , i know somewhere bewteen all the hatred/love and lies , you still care . The least i could do , was t change . I want t hold you tight , but i have t let you breathe , it's what you want , so it'd be what i'll do . I guess i never yearn for someone this much before , if only you understand .


TAURUS - The Enduring One (April 20 - May 20)
Charming but aggressive. Can come off as boring, but they are not. Hard workers.(HAHAH) Warm-hearted. Strong, has endurance. Solid beings who are stable and secure in their ways. Not looking for shortcuts. Take pride in their beauty. Patient and reliable. Make great friends and give good advice. Loving and kind. Loves hard -- passionate. Expresses themselves emotionally. Prone to ferocious temper-tantrums. Determined. Indulges themselves often. Very generous.


&& LASTLY , julia baby , feel better . Remember, he'd come back , rest assured, iloveyouu , think of me ! 'winks'

i want t say a bunch of i miss you's , but i know that deep down inside it doesnt matter , cause you made yur choice and you made it known .
i miss the people who would pull me up when im down , be there when i fall . & i know that i can fall back on no matter what .
but, they're gone .

words fallg softly , always foolg me . If you're going t leave , do it now .

& you stripped away my vanity .

stole this pict from sab ! 'laughs' was supposed t work yesterday , reached admilraty place t pick sab up when bonnie text-ed . Aborted plan t go work , instead call down a few people t hang out , seems like only zuzu darlg is free . Headed t town and had dinner , slack ALOT , then headed home . I dint want t be home that early tho , cause since started sec 5 it's been a long time i headed home after 12 . 'sighs' act wanted t head t shesha , but then again plan aborted . god , we need proper planng this way .

i hated last night ,i found out what a horrible person i have become , im really sorry love . I know that im purely at fault , if only i had trusted you , truth is i was jealous .
But nothing can change the hurt that is inflicted , or the words that have been said . Just hope u'd forgive me though , love . Im sorry .

woke up early morng , text-ed julia bby and headed back to sleep till after noon , now im left with a throbbing headache . & now u have t force myself t studyy .


if only you knew .

went out with rok , mai and shirin had really late lunch at pizza . sick of constantly fightg with shirin aye , very tiring & painful . 'crosses eyes'
took picts with my phone , but , the lappy charger giving f attitude , so well i cant upload now . sorry guys . walk-ed around then relax for awhile , with these two poeple who are like constantly whispering t each other . ugh . then head home , rok wanted me to get into the taxi badly , heh . I'd prefer walkg tho , 'smiles'


head home , rest and text-ed baby back and fourth till rok called then watch ghost whisperer but felt asleep with my handphone in my hand while text-ing baby . Poor thing . & rang baby for a while then head t bed .

was restg at home , as it was a super hot day , humid too . Headed down t meet the birthday girl and rok . Just to hang out and catch up on things , plus rok felt like eatg rojak mama , so we went t get some . Damn-ed , shirin's bday but we dint do much , sorry shirin . We made rok take picts , heeh .
birthday's comes one in a year so pictures is a must rightttt ? anyways i had fun .

have to burn midnight oil , haahs . damn-ed and i should stop fallg asleep on the lappy . 'smiles'
i still feel insecure , y know ? even after all that has been said and done .All im askg for is a little bit more love and attention . That's all .'sighs deeply' edward wants t meet t study this wednesday , im not sure if i can go yet though .

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHIRINNNNN !
yur like finally 18 years old tomorrow , 'winks' legalise aye ? anyways i wish you all the best in you life to come , and amy all hopes and wishes come true on this very special day .
& i really hope that u'd like what i bake for you , cause i put a whole lot of love & effort into it ,though i wasnt much it came straight from my heart ! . 'smiles'you're the most wonderful perosn a sane person could ask for .

this post is for you , in case i dont get to use the comp tomorrow ! happy birthday again ! 'grins'