Everyone everyone been so busy with school , so am I . Projects has already been streaming in and I thought that Higher Nitec would be laid back my bet & the best part of all of it is that my class is super competitive so everyone is pushing everyone to do their best . We have already failed once , we are certain we won't repeat the same phase again .

I joined netball but somehow I sucked at it , so Im quitting and continuing with photography . & Im super tired , I work like crap still the pay is unsatisfying , damn-ed . But I have to hold on and pull through cause I know I can , heh .
I know Zanna and Ayu only for a few weeks yet they care about me like asthough we have known each other for years , it's amazing . BUt I still miss talking with my usuals until I end up talking about the things Me , Ama , Liana , Shirin , Zuzu , Mizah , Sab , Ina , Desiree used to do . Heh , dumb but super fun and it helps me get through the day .

Maybe you can clearly see that I miss you , I want to spent time with you but somehow you're always pushing me away with a " No , you wont understand " You're not even giving me a chance , help me understand what's hurting you , why are constantly running away from me , don't be like 'her' saying Im too good for her . Whatdaafish .
I love you and I'll accept all your imperfections which makes you perfect in the end . The fact that the both of us are still standing here together says alot doesn't it ? Nearly 2 years love , 2 years . It may be a short period of time for you , but to me 2 years is a really long time . You're special to me , cause you're mine for keeps . Just try to understand how I feel also , in a relationship there are two people , I have feelings too you know . I ask questions and all not just to get you piss on purpose , it's because I want to be reassured .
A few more days love .



lastly , I miss a whole bunch of people , 'screws face'

It's the third day of school , damn I hate changes . I hate starting all over again where no ones knows what you're name is , how crazy you can be .
If I were to say that I love going to school , I'd be lying . It's ok , I can click with everyone since like 95% of them are girls , but then again like secondary school all of them has groups . Time and time again I ask myself why I always befriend with the quiet people in class maybe cause I love to see how they change in the end .
Like this girl Zanna that is always with me , on the first day we exchange shy smiles and well I talked quiet alot and it managed to get her to start talking .

But then again , its seriously different . I miss my other classmates so badly already , especially those in the same school as me . I can't freaking see baby eventho we're in the same sch , whatdaa . Then I'm still working , so Im going to be super busy .
Thankyou Liana for texting me in class , keeping me company , knowing the discomfort I feel . Thankyou for always looking out for me , taking the initiative to look for me , always , i love you .


& Zuzu thankyou for going home with me , hearing me out , you don't know how it made me feel . Thankyooou , I love you more than any pussies on any sideburns . Heh .

Happy anniversary love , we're in a different class this year , f damn ! It feels like crap without you around , seriously . But From the looks of it you're loving you class , and I wont stand in the way other than to be happy for you .

Those were at SBDC . Super long-tiring-super-fun-smexy-sweaty-day .
Tiring cause the previous day I worked till 3am and the next day I woke up at 9am , how sucky . Just cause I can't fall back to sleep , GAHHS*
...I've long forgotten about you.
Had this talk with Desiree and was meaning to blog it out , we were taling about school and friends and how we all used to be so close . Noticed I used the word 'used' , well cause we're not now . We came form the same school , shared the same interests and well mostly everything but then we had to take different routes that's how we drifted . It takes alot , to still constantly be in someone's life , constantly call them text them , if not just one day could really make a difference . They could just slipped away , and before you know it , when you see them outside you'd probably be debating with yourself if you should pretend to not notice that they are there or smile and walk away . & then you ask yourself how did it ever come to this . But if you force yourslef to think back it's ayou forctually your ego and your lack of incentive to find the other party thus letting them slip away . If they really mean alot to you like how you claim they are , you would never let them have the chance to slip away . This takes alot of effort , I should know . I do it everyday .

Was on the phone with Zuzu awhile back , I know exactly how you feel . Trust me , when you feel like whining your heart's desires to your other half they ask you to shut up , wanting them to call you in the middle of the night just to say that they love you , but they never do . Wanting to just cuddle up to them and play with their fingers and sharing thoughts , doubts and fears but time and time again they push you away . And you go looking for another , to fill you with love , who loved you first , who treats you all so amazingly . But when the other party finds out , you guys , fight , cry and he tells you why you shouldn't go , why he loves you . & because of that you stayed cause that was all you wanted in the first place . But then again , he takes you for granted yet again , and the vicious cycle starts all over again until one of you throws in the white flag . Talking doesn't help , crying just makes you feel better momentarily , shit happens . But , I always always believe in this zuzu darlg , if it's love then let hurt . If it means you bleeding in the end , the one at the losing end ... Just because it's love .

I wonder why Im so emotional , darned . Maybe cause of last nights twisted events , only Desiree knows , 'sighs' thanks for being there , hearing me out and reminding me constantly who's the really there for me . Well , Baby's back all I ask from you is not to take me forgranted .

HYEE .
I'm syima and lately I love my life , there's no pain no fear anymore . I longer feel insecure and it's amazing . It's like I know I'm falling again but I dont do anything to stop it cause I know that someone is going to catch me .
Well , what have I been doing this week aye ? Work alot & Ninie has laid her eyes on this new guy and she's all smitten by him it's so cute ! Sup cute can ?
Work has been same same , but I heard sometg about someone , shall not be irrational and listen to it until prove is given . & Shahril quit being sucha ass can ? But you got help me alot laa kay . Haahs .

AHHHH , I've nothing to blog about . Except went to the Marina resort dont know what interview today , safe to say it went smoothly . Higher pay , like finally , but even greater responsibility . I'm not sure if I want to continue working and schooling at the same time but on the hand I want to stop asking my parents for cash everytime and I want to be able to be responsible for myself . But it's going to be hard , I'm super glad that Ama and Nadrah would be there also . Hopefully I can 'smiles'
Baby call I laa , aiyer ! I know you can be way better than this if you want to .Plus , once again we're in the same school ! Another 2 more years , love .