we like so can set up a business .
i so hate june !
GAHHS*
nenek bringing me awayyyyy , yeah it's a bit too late .
but i miss everyone seyy .
my little baby kitten , there .
awww , a few people came over my crib .
while they were busy doing stuff , i wanted to snooze already laa .
instead crack jokes with rok! . 'laughs'
then ama stayed on , seriously if she slept over , she & syida would fight for the comp .
'nods head'
felt asleep on the sofa , while watchg so you think you can dance and seeing ama tpye away on the comp .
woke up , when syi-da kept talkg non-stop to me thing i was awake .
nyehhsss .
darn-ed zuzu , i forget that this sat i can't turun .
i'd tell you why esok alryts ?

im really slepppyyyyy now .
'holds open eyes with finger'
toodles .

i feel so utterly useless .
can't bear to see her cry her eyes out , but i just don't know what to do .
i wished i was there with her , wiping her tears .
so near but yet so far .
tell me what should i do ? when you see someone that way . 'sighs' but it's between us .
i should be the one askg and answerg these questions .

'rubs face' went over to dona's house ystd .
while we help her paint for her o level art piece , my mum & aunts watchg this pontianak show .
blah . for her final she is using oil paint , i admit that i like handicapped in that section but decide to try anyways .
rang adam , ask him to come over .
but instead he ask to drop by his place . 'screws face' yaa sure .
my wrist is healg , but im mostly doing tings with my right hand , so it dosent affect much .
by monday i don't have to wear bandage anymore , since the swelling has gone down .
yayyy & screw hazhim . GAHHS*

I twisted my wrist 'bites lip'
well , i fought with hazhim laa , then i wanted to hit him back when he kick my hand .
those who tried to punch him befre should know that his leg like steel .
BAHHS*
i balut with bandage already after massage it , with this darn-ed oily cream .
don't care laa .
text-ed rok , like last night , she made me really think a few things out .
im still thinkg about it though . 'smiles weakly' damn fun .
i wonder why i feel like puking these days , 'sighs'
i tried to solve someone's problem , but i think , it's between them .
&& this time , i can't help , no more .
i know she need me aye ?. im tryg .
have to go over to my aunt's soon , for i don't know what reason .

maybe baby , just maybe .

I can’t break away from these chains to my heart
the further you push me the closer you are
maybe I should try to let go
maybe I should try to walk away
there’s nothing left to say,
‘cause I can’t break away
Do you remember when, you used to laugh there with me
and now I’ve become the joke, a punchline’s all I will be
and I always will be waiting for you
and I know that you will never see ...that .

all i want to do is cry . it's heartbreakg and it'd scared me .
i don't want to go on and say anymore , but i guess cryg right now is the best medication .
can't face anyone . im sorry .

picts from ystdd .
I want to thank a few people .
'drumrolls'
firstly zuzu , for bringing me back . scaryy .'bites lips'
&& ama & sab .
thanks guys for coverg up for me . im home safely already , plus mummy wasn't mad at me afterall .

waaa . i swear i hate the feelg , my tongue hurts big time .
like what sab says . got pain no gain . 'sighs'
i swallow food so sloww . 'makes a face'
cryg too much lately , part & parcel ? i don't think so . 'shakes head'

im such a weakling . then like really early in the morning already got scoldg , she pin-pointed at us .
'rolls eyes' she say if she hear one more complain , we all get sent to detention everyday , what the hell ? GAHHS* why is it we also the ones being victimized ? she some sort bore her eyes into mine , i hate that darn-ed look . gfs , bersabarlah , they will get it one day .
&& i swear , i won't be the one sayg sorry .
watch-ed this jap movie , cried like small baby , he so darn-ed haute ! 'drools' hahs .
all four of yes eyes so soppy , and filled with tears , so sweet the endg .
even though he's not there anymore , she'd keep on loving him .
'smiles'
then the butterfly show , i was watchg half-way .
then mummy came in and was like why are both girls bathg togther & all . haahs .
din't know how to explain , so i just said don't know laa ma , the director . the show really sad actually laa mummy . sterr (short form for faster) , sit down with me .
in the end she doesn't want . ahhh , nevermind. enough fights with her already .

'tears stream down cheecks'
why did it have to happen this way .
i miss the times when we were so carefree in sec 3 .
all over each other , be there .
some things are better said out and resolved .
do you know how you make me feel when you do stuff ?
it's as if , im not good enough , i can't stop you .
even tellg you guy that i love you guys aint enough .
maybe we can't control it aye , i too have my addictions that i would not add .
i'll try , i'll try pull you guys through .
tell me what's wrong , if i can't help , at least , it'd make you feel better .

i swear i'd try . il you guys , do you know that ?'sighs' 'rubs tears'

TOMORRROWW SCHOOOLLLL .
it's obvious that im so not prepared . 'rolls eyes'
let's go down to the MOE and start a protest ? extend hols , it isnt like hols laa .
still have to go down school , i mean like what's the point yeahh .
'makes a face' but im like super - prepared .
i packed evrytg already , iron-ed out all my clothes .
somehow i can't wait for tmrw , but i rather spent it like a pig snuggled at home sleep yeah ?
im like on the phone with ama , she can't wait to get off work at 9 .
neyhhs , keepg her company .

ouhhhh , can't wait to see you guys tmrw . 'runs around like a lunatic'
&& you guys thinkg of like not coming , please do . 'shows puppy dog eyes'
it's just the first day .
how bad can it be ?

leave me in a room with lots of homework && a camera .
that's what you will get .
so todayyy , is ama & muhsin 1 yearrr . like omgahh . so lamer alreadyy right?
pluss , it's another couple's 1 mth , i can't say though , but zuzu knows . 'winks'
all on today eyh ? im going to sneak out again , for the sake of ama .
whewww , but it's not that far laa .
we have to get a few things before she meet's her babyyy yeah ?
&& for the umpteen time , call my house people . 'makes a face' phone is dumb , i can't hear what you guys are talkg , so when you call , all i'll hear is silence .
cause i dropped my phone in waterr , so it's crashed .
dumb eyh ?

im juts going to start where i left off . after me and ama tried to do the scrap book , we got so bored and then wandered off around cp . i think i influence aama already laa .
at first she din't wnat to do it , now she's all keen . BAHHS* im a bad friend . went to pasar malam , so cramp ! then headed home . while i was busy cursing the football team of guys sitting beside me at the bus stand , ama rang .
she din't have the keys to her house , and everyone is out .
weeeeeee . finally i got teman , so i invite her over .
both of us were like really sleepy already laa , so we watch the movie lying down on the sofa .
i put beanbag at ama, and lied on her legs . haahs . i was like already fallg asleep laa .
pluss , ama threw my teddy down from the sofaaaa ! pffft * poor teddy .

i then sent her down .
neyhhs .

my phone is nuts !
it rejects calls anyhow && i read msges like way after they are sent .
and the phone dsnt show any miss calls . 'rolls eyes'
dumb phone .
anyone who call/text me yesterday , sorry i i din't reply or text back yeahh .

it's so cold .
the world has grown so cold .
can i not update anymore ? i'll only do it if i have some sort of inspiration ,
which is darn-ed hard to have yeahh . so be it .
the baby is cumg out , like today . 'panics'
kak ayumi is in the hospital , they are keepg her there . If the baby is delivered tonight or sometg , it'd be premature . 'sighs' i'll have to go to the hospital . 'trys to smile'
i got no idea what-so-ever why im so emo-mo-m0 laa .
maybe it's the weather , maybe it's not .


syida broke my bed . 'covers face' ouhh what a sucky life i have eyhh ?
break my head also uh .

im going to stick to this babyy from now on . my darned right listening ear , there 24/7 and never makes promises that they can't keep ? right teddy ? neyhhs .


Let's rearrange
I wish you were a stranger I could disengage
Just say that we agree and then never change
Soften a bit until we all just get along
But that's disregard
Find another friend and you discard
As you lose the argument in a cable car
Hanging above as the canyon comes between .
A meaning buried
under shuttered breathing
Its taking too long for me to spit it out

Tell me everything will be alright
Close your eyes and dream of me tonight
Tell me that you won't just fade away
Cross my heart and hope to die tonight I'll dream my pain away

I'll let the lack of words speak for me
the way I am I can't express or understand
I'll take the time now to make you see
I see through your lies, they're bleeding from your eyes.

Tell me dear
How can I make this more clear
When I say this is forever
And how is that so wrong
Is it too much to ask to be alone .


so that's it . im trying to explain for all the unexplainable . i hope you guys ustd .

i cried my whole eyeballs out last night , eyeahh . so im like really tired laa .
feel like stickg pins in my head . ouhh godd . 'sneezes'
plus sissy's sick , so yeahh . i had to take care of her . wheeww .
was dragged out by my house by liana & ina for a ''surprise'' . i was like , im not even dressed ! ahhs . then well , i got dress and met them at causeway . the surprise was that ina reborn her hair . Actually i kind of knew it already , cause she wanted to do it for a long time already yerr .
haahs . Then we like sort of walked around & catchup on things yeahhh . god i missed them .
ideas people ? im sleeppyyyyyyy .
if i were to die , i'd never forget you .

i feel so cold , in more ways than one .
everyone is going everywhere , im here .
explain to me , is this how i wanted it to be ?it's only beyond my control .
if only i had the nerve to really say how i feel , i swear i'd speak till tomorrow .
for now , this is how it's going to be , as hours turns into days , days turn into weeks .

i opened my life out for you , i've told you everytg i knew .
i don't get it , why have i become so quiet when all i want to do is talk .
my words don't mean a thing against yours .
all this crap mean just one thing , i don't want you to go a few days seem like weeks .
i try to be strong , but i can't , i can't .
&& that this gut feelg that i have in my tummy is sadness .
i just want to cry , crawl into my bed and say goodbye .

'bends neck'
its morning , ouhh how i hate mornings && love the night insteadd .
i've got no idea why my back ache so badly this dayss . 'rubs back'
usually it's me talkg on the phone till like 3 or 4 am , but like omgahh , ystd , it was syi-da .
'laughs' still tryg to figure out who this slengeh boyf of hers .
school is opening like next week , so typical , what's the diff ?
how am i going spent this week ? 'sighs' ina syg , rmbr about the thing you text-ed me about ? im free every afternn . call me if you can right ?
going to force myself do some things . 'thinks thoughtfully'
eyeahhh . i would . for now , i still haven't bathe !
going to hit the books . i would right ? yeahh i would .
someway or another , i'll tel you what i bought soon what gooey name that i call you . nyehhs .
missing wayy too many people alreadyy , going to give each & everyone of you hugs when i see you in school 'laughs'

went out with sabbyyy . 'laughs' firstly , i asked her to tag . after like contactg several people .
was so funn laa dangg . me & sabbie had sometg done . 'puts fingers to lips' neyhhs . you guys see for yourself alryts? went to buy sometg , but it's not the colour i want ! GAHHS* so hard to find it , i swear .
then we're off to meet nad at the heeren . she was alone , i wished i had accmpany her to heeren early today . but i woke up so late ! lieka round 11.50 , so lambat right ? 'gaw drops' we watch-ed the bboys & bgirlsbreak for a while before headg home . sab went home first , i had to do some errands before going home . i swear i don't know how to choose for that item laa . i was showg nad, '' should i get this ? i don't know ! 'rubs head' how nie , let's ask the aunty ?'' 'laughs'
ouhh godd . i hope the person like it though 'crosses fingers'

tallest to shortest eyh ?
i look so tiny beside hahzim . 'laughs'












yesterdaaaayyyyyyy was FUNNNNNN . told hazhim to spike his hair , but he don't want .... GAHHS* && yeah im shorter than syi-da happy ?
despite having my cramps . 'rubs face' aderker hazhim ask me to bring diapers ? 'makes a face'
ouhh godd the it fair was packed then there's flyers everywhere . hahzim wnet gugugagaga when this sales person talk-ed him into buying sometg . haahs , i had to grab the flyer out of his hand .
we went to eat at marina , couldn't decide where to eat .
wanted breeks , but so errr . so hahzim decided this foodcourt overlookg the esplanade . so windyyyy . && the portions right very big , i cudnt finish mine .
then we went in the it fair , i cudnt walk sey . held onto hazhim's shirt . wheeewww .
hazhim bought for syida stuff , plus he got a nike earpiece . againnnnnn .
i already pointed out what i wanted for my bdae. 'winks' let's hope he get the point . we then jumper kak ayumi in her all so weird uniform , got free drinks form her mc cafe . 'laughs' she make the nicest laa , cause i put alot of caramel for me . i offered erwina to drink , her face change seyy , she said so sedap , hazhim pulak becum weird . i kept on laughg .
thenn like so malam already , when mummy called . sayg we must get daddy sumtg , then im like whaaaatttt ? like at 9 pluss what shop open , then i rmbr late night shopping at paragon .

hit metro , found stuff . went back home , then you know what , im so grossed out by this two foreign guys , i sat beside syida, in the couple sit , then these two man , stand right in front of me , with a camera in their hand and pointg at me from my top . As if atking picture of my you-know-what . i keep on pullg my tube up . eerrr , 'makes a gross out face'
then you know the feelg you get when someone is staring at you ? well i got that feelg , i slowly looked up , and saw him staring at me . && worst of all he alighted at woodlands , he stood into of me staring at me from town . omaghhhhhh . damn perverttt . i miss my darlg , no calls make me want to puke pins . of all the time i was out , i wished he was there with me .
ilove you sweety , daniel , baniel . haahs .