got an addiction , can't stop even though it bleeds .
each time i want to go deeper and deeper .
&& yes it does take away the hurt , even if it's just for a while .
i love it , when my heart beats really fast ,while i push the blade onto my skin .
eventhough , i can't control everytg else that happens to me , at least i can control this .
it's so so satisfying . 'nods head'
eyh eyh . alright , it's been a week since i posted .
blehh . i was busy studyg ,i swear . PLUSSS , i finished colourg my bloody final art piece .
GAHHS*
took me so long , laughg to hazhim's lame jokes helped . yayy .
alryt , i know i need to revise my chem .
i can wait .
going out with yusraa . nyehhs .

&& guess what ,
we have to finish all our prep work by monday .
im seriously waht the helling art .
i got so many things to do .
GAHHHS*

i can't even think straight . i thought that we have a t least until june to complete everything .
but suddenly she say 30 April? giler seyy .

i can tell you , people who don't have their final design goodluck to them .
im so so busy . that i only blog if i have the chance or if im not busy studyg or catching up on some sleep .
i can't believe it mid-year on thurs .

pfft *

buck up girlfreinds , we want to be named famous seven for good things now don't we?

im done with my first layerrr . ouh godd . still like 8 more layers or so .
im so fuck upp .
so pissed . ouhh godd . she's flirting in another freaking way .
bloody shit .
GAHHS*
&& im sick , sick of everytg else .
im still holdg on , but im losing my grip, slowly but surely .
'sighes'
when you guys could read me like an open book , shudnt you guys be there .
IM MISSING THE MOST IMPORTANT PEOPLE , ZUZU & MIZAH my'SUGARdarlg .
we've been so busy , it sucks.

everything is over now .
i hope it won't repeat again though .
went library with ama yesterday , but we din't get to study . we were rudely interrupted .
fine . talked things out & settled .
im sorry to sab & ina that the guys are diff .
they may hit you with hurtful words , i know . you can just blame it all on me .
IM SORRY .
if there's anyone the guys should hate it's me .
but i don't fucking care .
like what ina told me , we go school not to find shitty-ass guys .
so yeahh .

have to go back to school in a while .
for speech day . GAHHS *
it's so lame . wanted to stay in & do something usefull .

today is the most horrible day . FUCK SHARUL NIZAM YOU FUCKING PERVERT / PSYCHO DAMN HORNY BASTARD .
suck your own pencil-thin cock you shit .
if touchg my teets were defense ,
then next time i can say that i'd hold your pencil-thin toot for defense then .
LAME EXCUSE !!
get a better fuckg reason .
FUCK SHARUL . i held all this in for way too long .
i never felt more angry before . godd .
SHIT FACED
i felt loved by nahar.
godd , he hugged me .
i want thank my girlfreinds for pullg me through this .
&& i want to say a BIG SORRY .
That the guys will now treat you guys differently , i hope this will only pull us closer together & not break us apart .

I LOVE MY F7 && shikin && sawi .

let's see how justice is served . btw my dad is going to call the school tmrw .

yesterday so shyty-funn .
met up with my cousins Eurasian/ Malay .
'laughs'
it was hilarious but i would not say what i did . godd .
if not everyone would be teasing me about potato chips for the rest of my life .
'laughs'
'sighs' sabby babe helped me with my batek . it's damn nice . hehss .
i like the toning .
so basically school today was okay .
dint feel sleepy muchh!
i woke up early morning today && told myself that today im going to work my ass off .
&& i did . im NOT going to take cat naps anymore . trust me .

and now , i seriously got nothing to say .
but im fallg for someone . i hope it's just a crush .

GAHHS*
i feel so bad for not updating about me && ama going to the gym .
'shows lips'
basically i was last friday , we cudnt even take picts in that place plus i look like sotong .
cause i don't know what to do && all .
&& we made a song called fuckity fuck . singing to the tune of dickory dock.
the nursery rhyme .... get it?

im not going to update much .
N level's are dangerously near .
i cant believe my bdae falls on the N level's date !!
godd .
i'd be happy if at least one person wishh me .
HAPPY BDAE SABBIE && SHIKIN && ADI .
'winks'

even more fucked up now .
cause i'd wake up from a dead sleep hearg my parents fightg .
if they are gg their seperate ways . i'll swear i blame it all on me .
daddy being calling me names too. he'd said he'd leave the house && let mummy do everytg else .
he called me dumb , a fool . i guess i am what he says i am . he's my dad .
EVERYTHING I DO IS NEVER GOOD ENOUGH.
never .


im going mad.

aint she the cutest!




spent time playing with furry animals that just make me smile .
she's so cute . it's a 'her okay .
GAHHS* i give up on boys . 'pulls hair'
i don't get them . i tried so hard , among everytg else . All i need is for you to be there .
i feel so totally fucked up .
i slept like pig yesterday . after come home from school arnd 5 , i slept all the way till arnd 7 plus , replied ama's text message then felt back to sleep till the next morning .
i dint know why i was so tired .
just feel so fused up .
&& zuzu beb , i won't with you over food! we don't go hongkong uhh . go UK!
sabbie darlg , GO TO SCHOOL!!



im going to sleep now , before going to the gym with ama babe later .
sunday go jogging with shikin .
ZUZU IKUTT! don't you dare say me lazy pigg .

school today was so blehish .
someone din't reply my text the whole dayy .
god .
again? why do i deserve this? cried infront of someone yesterday . it guess it's the first time the person has seen me cry .
i told the person everytg . how fucked up i feel , how i hate competing in studies .
mdm.teo talked to me . she made me want to cry .
i told her i given up . i want people beatg me in everytg if it makes them feel better , cause wehn i pass , i don't feel good .
i just feel bad .

call me stupid . i hate being tease all the time . it getting so fucked up that i walk away .

study for SS test tmrw people . don't say i dint tell you guys .
wahhaaha .
i want go cuddle up to a corner && cry .