headed out with ama and lyd , i miss zuzu and mizah aye . Waited for ma like half-and hour ! godd , heh . Actually im used to it though , headed to mac and studied , damn-ed i hate chem . pfft . I swear i bumb into alot of people today . Like seriously , sit down and ate halfway thru i saw ina and wahida . They look diff tho , i miss them hell much . Exchanged information of people that we know , and hugged her goodbye .Then bum into siti , eventho i saw her yesterday i still miss her laugh . It cracks you up no matter what mood you're in 'smiles at the thought of it' Today is not at all how i planned it to be . If freinds is not what you want to be with me , i just you made the right choice . But i sure as hell enjoy-ed yur company . Thankyou , for being there . Change you know ? you can .

so me and this darn-ed girl was damn-ed bored at home and decode to cam whored . 'sighs deeply' ever since my Mc i've been cooped up at home, i need my vit d's . GAHHS* daddy and mummy dont seem to understand that i need to go out also . anyways, im sick of yur empty promises, ughh . I swear i need to blogg , so be it . Cant believe ama's out at this time with khaikhai . Just to get newspaper heh .

'sings to self' decided to push everytg else away . Sorted my thinkg like really sort it out , those long nights of not sleepg was worth it . Cause finally i came up with an answer " people come and go"
i'll just have to learn and adapt , im glad i still have my friends pushg me on . So currently im in high spirits . Haahs , well just for the mean time aye ? Ama's outttt , againnnnn . & im stuck-ed at home , zuzu and lyd asked me out sorry guys . I wished , i could .
'breathes in deeply' i choosed this path , i did . So i should as hell enjoy it right ? heh .
monday , im meetg them . I cant wait , at least then i'll forget everytg else aye ? maybe .

eyhh , i know i havent been updating lately maybe cause im stressg about school , art and all . Until , well im not really feel so well and i got two days MC . Whilst i was at the poly , i thought about the times i went there to skip classes with ina , sab . God , i missed those times , and all bcus we dint do our art . I miss them u know ? Zuzu , who's always making sure i was alright , sab making laugh my silly ass off , ina giving the most comfortg hugs . 'sighs deeply' i want to thank ama for always hearg my crap . Mizahh , who makes me laugh when im so sleepy in class . && liana , you changed , but everyone does , thankyou for pullg me through .
been struggling with school , the stress has just started seeing everyone coping well makes me feels well , like giving up . im tryg , i swear im tryg .

on the way home , motor accident . cant see the motor though .


we so dont look alike aye ?



















wasn't planng to head out head yesterday , when daddy told me i had to attend his union event . I was just planng to stay home , and watch movies , heh . The problem is , we need 8 people . My cousins are already two , so another six more . Rang-ed ama , damn-ed her phone off . Then rang zuzu , she was free , like yay . Invited desiree , lydia at first cant make it , but then she skipped her tuition . Okay , so met up with zuzu and my cousin's plus my sister , and headed to tampines . Me and zuzu like so many topics to talk about , until i neglect my cousins at the back . Picked up desiree and lyd , headed to downtown east , went to eat and came back . The event by then already started , Gahhs* like some of them was like really good . heeh . We sneak-ed out early and headed to bugis , search for an outfit for lydia . & met up with nash after she went shisha , since she wanted to meet me so much . Talk-ed with her for a while then headed to kallang since daddy sending all of us home . We laugh-ed like no body's business , heh . So yeahh .
i had fun , 'sighs deeply'
i hope it would all be better soon tho .

with each passing day i have second thoughts about being in sec 5 . Sittg beside jia ying has it advantages , tho i dont really know her , im making an effort to be her friend . She's teachg me maths while i teach her English . Everytho , everyone is friends with everyone in class and all , i can't help but feel alone . I miss my gfs , i just sit by myself and like do my work , or stare into space . Liana , the other side of the class is laughg her ass off . 'sighs deeply ' it's not to have new friends , but what happens to the old ones ? I thought that time would maybe be a key to a reason why we are this close . i want the rest , i miss them . I dont think they'd feel the same .
why do i feel this way ?

school has been taking the most out of me , like we have to make up for the missed brigding classses and have to stay in the libary until 5 . Godd , i can pratically and literally sleep . 'sighs deeply' even with new freinds , well not exactly new freinds . I miss my all gang , the way they kept me going to school everyday , famous 7 , what used to be . I miss ____ so badly , i wish somehow that person had chosen not to give up and go on in this sch . I just dont know how to put it in words , keep on fightg .
&& if you just wish to go , say so .

& so i went out again yesterday . Was just planng to eat and get stuff for school , but ended up in bugis . The damn-ed crowded place filled with sweaty bodies packed against each other . 'sighs deeply' my phone died halfway thru , but yea it was fun . I'm so jealous that tabby had the shirt that i want . Gahhhs .
anywayyyy , the best news for today is , my brother got caught , 'dances around' die for all i care , fuck up ass . please , allah , let him stay in jail . stay there , die there .
okay , i sound sick , i miss all my gfs already .
just that they dont feel the same way as i do .

HAPPY NEW YEAR , people .
guess how i spent my new year's ? firstly went out in the afternn after sch , to nash place .
thought maybe i could sneak out and go countdown with the rest , but my prepaid low . && i couldnt text the rest . And mummy dragged me to nenek's place and eat nasi goreng kampung while watchg countdown on the tv . I wonder how boring my life could be , and the cheeck hazhim has of askg me to stay at home while he head out with adam and went to the countdown .
&& in the end , our plan hancur . Plus , i dont know who went . this sucks . But happy new year anyways .

my new year's resolution is :
firstly to be a better person ; and not to just snap at people .
stop puttg sleep s my first priority .
kick my first shit head out of the house, maybe in an accident . i hope he dies :)
&& not take people for granted . esp mummy and daddy .