So tell me how it feels if you can't have the one you love fully, you argue you'd be patient. But how patient can you be controlling your tears and emotions everytime you guys meet? I'm so darn tired. I don't really know what's right anymore, or maybe cause I'm too worn out to even think. Let it be? See where this goes.

I hate to admit that I miss you, I miss everything about you. Your words of encouragement especially, how you always know what to say, when to say. I need that right now, but I know I still can't talk to you or even face you as a friend yet. Or maybe ever. You won't understand how hard it is, I have gotten over the fact that you choose to forget all about me, I just choose to be independent and try to live as though we never knew each other. My bestf,life seems so hard to you without you constantly reminding me to be strong.

Selamat Hari Raya kawan kawan ku!

 My brother, he saw me crying on malam raya on the floor like one hopeless person, gasping for air to breathe so he came, pulled my hand to the toilet ask me to wash my face and ask me to follow him to the shop. Good idea, cause when I did, he knocked some sense into my head like he always does.

 The one person that can make want to slap her senseless, but I can't go a day without her being with me.

Nearly complete family, see how mummy smile? HAHAHA. Joke, Daddy was at granny's house that's why he's not in the picture. One thing you'd realize as you grow older is that you wanna spend less time with your friends and more time with your family cause you feel as though you have limited time with them. I love Mummy Daady Hazhim and Syida so much, though we fight nearly everyday that fact will never change.

Im thankful for the people ho have been there for me every single time when I'm breaking down, even when I'm not supposed to feel that way. Thank you Razean, for hearing me out, watching me cry, hearing me say I'll be okay but tear up again the next moment. You never gave up on me, thank you. I don;t know how to show you, but one day I will.
& especially fie, whom I ask her to fuck off la, shut up, push her away, she's still there, literally wiping the tears of my face cause I'm such a weepy kid. I have promised myself that I won;t cry for you anymore, I won;t cry for you till I can;t breathe gasping fr air, feeling like crap every single day when I wake  up and when I sleep.You've stripped me off everything close to my heart, making me feel so useless. I don't want to ever feel that way anymore, ever.

As for me right now, I wanna focus on things that matter the most to me right now. Care for the people that has never left my side cause I was feeling this way, be there for them. I'll never forget how you hugged me on the floor when I was crying for her, the first thing you see when you wake up.

Smile eventhough your heart is frowning.

 HEE HEE, finally made my tapak kuda nutella. Successful, this are the nice one la. Mine hancur cause I din't know how to fold it properly. Well, it's my first time anyways, so do I at least get a good try? Haha.

 If only zanna came, I only get to meet my temok :( I miss them so much, seriously. Things are diff now, but US still remains unchanged.

 HEE HEE, my baking girls Anna and Nina. 

 Kumoks, well mnus a few more. 'sighs' sedih pe. This year we can't even raya together cause of clashing schedule and some of them can't take leave. I hate this, I hate changes.

My motivation everyday to come to school.

So freaking stress up with all the exam and tests that are coming, 'sighs' Yes, I admit I ahte changes, I hate that things must change. I hate the fact that I'm force to adapt to the situation as it is, it takes me a very long time to open up and accept it. I admit that's my flaw.