weell ...
hell yeah tudae was tirng i guess.. 'laughes' i woke up arnd 9 pluss .
i dint even wanted to wake up in the ferst place . PRINCEcharmg msg me .. all so sweet .
we were suppsed to go out togther todayy .
but hmms .. change of plans. i dint abthe till around fourr. had plans with ama n zuzu !
to go relaxingg .. but i cudnt get through with ama at the time we wnated to go . i know her ppd low .
but her house phone cant get thorughh ..
i dono whyy .

so me and zuzu went to gte marshiemallows!...yumm! again i know .
Xp.

the sunn was hinely ever so brightly that it was too hot to go to the hill .
so i went home and take my nail polishh and went to zuzu's house .

we cam -whored for a while and did our manicure .
but i removed it all in the end .
cause it look soo horrible seyys..!i mish the famous 7 ! stupidd holidayys . can't gte in touch with them cause my ppd finishh! i mean has in totally !
i wanted to sent ina but i can't sorry !
im sorry if you are reading this kaes! haeshh .. everyone is werking and all .. so its hard to call for a group outingg seyys..

hmmph!

i miss my PRINCEcharmg very muchhee ! he's coming back todayy ..'screams' YAYness ..
but what timee?
yesterdayy my family nad me were like going all over singapore for ME!..
'smiles'
we went to ang mo kio hub 'thinks is that how we spell it?'
hee .. by the looks of it its a new placee .
there are like soo many vacancies for jobss form various places of cousres .
the cathay is still building . i can't wait to watch movies from it . i personally prefer cathay from all the other cinemas . and i duno whhyy thoughh .
to me its just betterr .

so we went to ang mo kio hub rhytes ? to make my ez-link .
hee .
its like lostt . and ez- link is my card to freedom . it hard it we don;t have the cardd .
but then just my luck . the machine for making the ez-link are spoilt .
so we have to come back the next day for it . usually we just get it after a few hours..
hmmph!

so we paid and left . my stomachh grumbled for its dinner .
so my parents took us (me and my sis)
to Ramen 10 ..
yummm! i ate the ramen chicken somthingg . it was soo darn spicyy . i was sweating throughout eating it .
but serioulsy ? it was damn nice .


'smiles' me want somemore cann? hee . thinking about it i havent seen any of my freinds for a few days now . STUPIDD holidayys ! 'laughes' i want to see them ..
hmmss ..
want to plan to eat with zuhiri! but she's still like sleppingg .. dun disturb her yett ..shhhh! ..'smiles'

im going out again . later to collect my ez . and make my passportt . wee! 'smiles' soo the lecehh ..
but its is still for me ..

it was yesterday afternoon that he left me for indon.'laughes' is sound so sadd..
maybe because i am! durhhs . Even though there are times that i won't meet him for three days and i don't feel this much of missing him .
Does that even makes sense?'laughes'
well i do frekinlgy miss hym lyke shytss .. 'sighes' i can't wait till he gtes abckk ..'squeals!'
i havent been spending time with darlg! 'sighes' she's my key to survival .. always there when i need herr ..

'smiles' need to plan an outing with her and her 'ling' and farah n syafiqq.. me and my PRINCEcharmg .

more easierr ..


guess whatt?the show jangan pandang belakang so the merepekk ..
the ghost like shytss wear seaweed nyer baju seyy .. weird muchhh?
i watch at my cousin hse she make the show so funny that i wasnt scared at all.
if there are more people like her laughing while watching scary movies i think they would go bankrupt!

the from my auntie house I walk back home . with my family of course .
i disscussed the show with ama on the phone . as she was darn bored at her uncle's shop.
so we talk and talk all the way back home . but she had to put down the phone at 8.30 cause wait her uncle come in .


last nyte i was soo restless .. i wanted hym to text me somthingg anytg!..

'smiles'

todayy was frekingly tiringg!..
seriouly like hell .. i mean lyke in the morning i was all geared up for today's robo watver..
so went to school as pernormall . meet faizal otw to school so he walked with us .
the there was what hapenn .. it went all crazyy on me .. ina ,ama, sab ,liana , me..
we lyke lunatics trying to get everything righhtt .
kian menngmy HERO! 'smiles'
save the day by helping us set teh speakers and all .. but i gues he forgot that maybe the plugs were wrongg ..

so throughout our DJ thingy we could only hear the music but not the lyrics ..
suckky muchh? zuzu pinjam us her PSP for the songs ... she woke up at 3 to do it!! awww..'smiles'



my darlingg ama tried switching the plugs then it all suddenly werk ..
but it was too late it was already drwing close to the end of the competitionn ..
freking shytss..
and i think that E1 would winn looking at the amount of coupons they have in totall.


then me , sab , ama had to rushh home . i wanted go to with zuzu but she start at 2 so she went ferst with herr darlinkk..ling lingg .. hee Xp



shytss i gtg..


laterr..

'applause' i got first in calss wow muchh!?
i dint expect it sia..
i mean i slack and stuff like tht but still even though im no.1 i don't feel proud.
haeshh..

im worried scik for tmrw botth..shytssness?argh!..hehehh..
weells..
i got the job at LJS. with my PRINCEcharmg,'darlg! and farahh..
its gna bee so funn cant wiat till i start there soon..'smiles'

but i hate it you knw..
i mean all becuase of the word 'WORK'
all this conflicts between freinds come upp.
i wnat us to be tight as ever you know.
i can';t se her like that.I need to confront her.i mean she's one of the closest to me and it hruts like hell when people say stuff..i do admit i mean even i tallk sometimes..i gues i wn to clear all of this..


'smiles'


i don;t have anytg esle to sayy..
but im damn tired yarrhs..

'drumrolls' introducingg..

the sistas i can never fergett..
even though one is in califonia , one i poly , one in JC , and one still in adss.
i miss all al them thoughh..
they treat me like babies especialy baharr.
'sighes'
but she had to leave to migrate to the US as most of the family members are there.
she was the one who put me into contem dance . she pratically force the teacher to give me a spot.
instead of the sickening malay dance..ugh!

thne there's falina . hee Xp. the big soster of aziela. i meet her during my ferst few lessons of dance she and yusie opss.. i mean yusra.
me and aziela were realy close last thyme , but i guess i was closer to her sister then to her cause i go out with her sis so many thymes and i dare to say she knows me inside out.



then yusra..or yusie as i call her . i dun rmbr the last thyme i went out with her..ouhh yarrhs to rebond her hair that was the last.i mish out long bus rides and mesyy eating sessions..
hee..Xp.
i still rmbr the thymes i folow her to meet yan n ridzwan.
hahas..'smiles' i was alwyas like the 'bulb' there but she dint mind cause she would always like talk to me and never leave me lonelyy..

hey..
i know i know i havent been excatly been updating my blog that oftenn..
cause gues what my dad did something so i could not log on to my own account.
I thought taht all my pict and poems writting all that was gone seyy. i was about to cry until todayy weird huuhr?

well gues what!!..'smiles widelyy' i passed all subjects..'whispers softly' except maths..'laughes'

i was thinking rights that maybe i should go to ITE.i mean it is not at all a bad choice.and now days ite its lyke polyy even better so i think it really wrong though.ill take the best courses they offer. i only chose this solution because even in 50 years thyme i don't think i can do freaking maths..
it's juts plain stupidd the sub and all..

im more into sci and geo..you know like how the earth werks and all weird?hee..Xp.
discovery channel and national geograpic is my fav channels during the nyte.

i feel so darn freking dissapointed seyys.
i wanted to perform so badly for speech day and robotrenur i think.Then i got kick out beacuse i dint come to one freking pathethic pratice!ssoo not fairr.'sighes'

i feel like telling the werld what hapen during weds art lesson.
i feel like i was stipped naked and left to stand in the middle of somewhere and people would satrt to talk and point and gossip.
she made me feel that way.
i dint knew a teacher could even do that!.
arghh!
'frustration'
my PRINCEcharmg has been a dear but sometimes i feel scared to meet hym.
as if i need someone to always be there when i was with hym.

YESH, yeshh. i do feel comfortable when im with hym but im juts scraed you know.
there's this huge feeling that i want to see hym so badly but then suddenly fear just takes control you knoww.

'shakes head' ' bits nails'
opps!.
hee..

Light the candle , start the fire
Snuggle down for the end of the world.
Watch the sun reach its zenith , one more time.
Kiss me , again , one last time.

Forget your cares , forget your needs , this is all we get .
Be at peace , be at ease , i am here for you .

Watching the sun set , listening to it coming,
I realise how lucky i was , how hot you are .
Kiss me , again , ona last time.


omgg..yesh yesh . we are taking it to darn fast again. we need driving with daisy not the fast furious.
hee..
but how i wished the feeling would last till eternity . 'laughes''shakes head' it sent thrills down my spine you know.It as if he sent shock waves down down my back . 'tastes lips''laughes'
okkkyas i better stop doing that before people think im a complete FREAKtard.

heess Xp.
yesh yesh we still should wait till four months . I wudnt change my mind on that though. butt.. err i wished it wudnt hapen anymore for this tiny little while cann?

i know he would say yesh.
i finally know how he feels truelyy. Im mishing hym like a person from IMH loves chocolate..

'laughes' 'looks around' just btween you and me .. rhytes ..'whispers' i LURP hymm .. shushhhh 'purse lips making sound' don't tell anyone just yett..

hee ..if not ..'evil laughter'
muhahahs..


kaess.. i got to go for now my mummy wants me to go to teh shop for a while to get something.
and i don;'t get paid for this!hee.. nahh i do it cause i lupp her lyke hell..

this is the punishment for not going scholl .. 'laughes'

haeshh results are in!!..
wee..
hahahs i got highest in class for geo.ss me,ama,syifiq,jun peng,somemore i fergot all got 17 wow!.
syifiq win me chemistry by like three marks seyy..
when mr.chong was like giving the papers i was soo darn anxious seyy..iw as like slapping my knee pinching myself..
i knew aminah surely nyer highest.
he gave the paper in a order that form lowest to higest.
ama got hers,then liano,dan aminah..
then i was lyke where's mine..
then came the last two mine and syafiq..
i was lyke wow!he studied and he deserve it..was proud of hym but still kinda sadd dat i wasnt highestt.
but i regreted seyy.that i dint try and help liana or smthinn..heashh..
somemore i did something bad to herr.
theres's thsi heart on her pencil box.when i pick up the pencil i started doodling on itt..
only when liana scold me i was like huhh?ouhh shytss i was like possessed in doin it seyy.
haeshh..

nothin muchh hapened tudae except sabbie dint come to school.she's sick i guess..
but i duno whyyy..
guess what i feel that this dayy is totall shyttness!.
freking hell.
everythg seems to be going the wayy i dint excatly planned itt.

'bangs her head on wall.'

emo guys are still HAWTT!..and they are soo not gayys..

heyy..
zuhiri woke me up tudae morning with a message.gooshh..every single day this week i havn't been sleping well poor me.so frust!.
i don't feel safe in my house anymores..
wells. the same night i saw the huge HUGE cocoroach was the worst night ever.
i woke up at 3.45am then i check my hp to see that he sent me a msg saying he cudnt call.
so i read it and before i went to sleep.
i saw my bother's gurlfwen at the mirror infrt of my bedroom.thinking that she is spending the nightat my house.so i went back to sleep.
in the morinig i woke up by a bee so i went to my mum and told her what hapen.
she says no she wasnt here at all.my bother sent her arnd 12.30 after feeding the kittens.
the she said she would check with my bother's gurlfwen.
and she did.
iw as soo darn shock seyy.
she said she wasnt dere at all.weird out.
then last night.
i was so afaird to sleep.so hym called me fer awhile.after putting the pon down it sent shivers dwon my spine.afaird i called my brother the second one.hazhim.
he rushed home asap.
we watch tv for awhile.
then he asked me why i dint want to sleep.
i told hym i was to scared to even close my eyes.
he asked me why and i told hym the story his eyes then were wide as hell.
he said he dint want to tell anyone what he saw but the he did.
i pleaded hy to tell me waht he saw.
he told me he saw somthing sitting on my bed in white arnd 12 plus.
after that i shook lyke hell seyy.
i wa soo scraed..
why was it afterr me?
weird.

anywayss..
i got babay kitties!
so darn cute..a mother cat gave birth to thre kittens all so small and adorable!
i just wana bring all of them home!but i cnat my botehr is allregic to it and my mum cant satnd the sight of their shyts even though i promise to clean.haeshh ill just gota wait till im olderr..


'laughes''stomach grumbles' im hungryy. laterr..

'smiles' i duno why i lurve this picture but ist hawtt!rhyte?'guessing people's reaction''smiles'

BOYS LIKE GIRLS.hawwttess band.

another image of us when we were at the fairr..
hmms..'thinks thoughtfully'
where's ama!
hee..
mishh her lotts..
tudae ish lyiana bdae!!..
heppi bdaee lyiana!.
'smiles'
but i cant go outt.Even though i scream n protest how much i want to go to the party my mum still disagree! argghh!.

haeshh..so what to do..i gta stay at home for the WHOLE freakingg dayy.
ystd night rhyte there was this huge HUGE cocoroach!!i was on the phone takling to zuhairah my cygg!..heheh then i heard this flapping sound or smtin lyk if you take a comb and rub your fingers along it.
so i turn i zoom my eyes at the dorr cause there was this black spot
then i saw itt.
so darn bigg!.
i screammed fer my motherr hee..Xp.
she came in and i was already in tears seyy..
iw as soo feaked out i ran out of my room.as i was walking to the balcony.
i heard my borther's gurlfwen say its sood darn big in malay.
dan i turn i sawit flyting in the living.
everyone including my brother he's gurlfwen n he's fwen n me ducked n ran into teh balconyy.
my mother was the only brave soul who rescued us.
she took tissue at ferst dan my bother gurlfwen was like tissue cant do it!so mymum got a slipper.
my brother gurlfwen n me was jumping up and down screaming kill the.yes YES!!
and finally it was killed and i went back on the pon wf zuhri!

hahas..weird muchh?
wookays enuf about creppy cstuff.eeew..
and its raining heavily now.
i lurp when it rains i lurp to look at it.see how it falls to earth every droplet of them.
i feel lyke going out and just get soak in it.
but my parther i crime aint here!!boo-hoo..
she went to the partyy...

'smiles' i think i was disturbg her of sumthgg..hahass
WEEE..
we were waiting fer the ride to start..FASTERR..!
why in the werld was the light shone so bright?






yesterday wass FUN!?
hahahs..
well i spent the afternn at farah house watchg a movie called 'bangku kosong'..
it was sacryy hee..
thrilling tuu..
hahas..
i rmrbr the moments zuhairah and me cover our faces wf pillows and i hid behind zuhairah's handd..
while farah was relax and all calm...
hahas..
then farah so badd seyy.
when we were still watchg the scary moments from the show..
farah went outside to the window to scare us..

and i thought it was real seyy..


woooshh!.


we then went to meet luqman,syafiq and belon..

hah and guess what we were one hourr late!.
syafiq was already sleping fer real of the benchh..

me n hamizah dint stay fer longg as we ned to go to the fairr.
so when sabbie arrived we said bye and went off..

reachg CP.we waited awhile as ama was with her mum and auntie=))
as she camee..
my heart beated really really FASTT..
i duno whyy thoughh..

so she came and we walk to the fairr..
i was getting nervous and more nervous by the second seyy..

and we arrived there..
my heart thumped really hard.

we quickly brought tickets as we like anxious and cant wait to go and play itt..


we sat the Top Gun ferstt..
woo..
being on that ride the second time kinda make it a little better for me though.
as i was as scared as the ferst thyme when my leg shake on its ownn...
'laughes'
'shakes head'
weell..


then after looking aroundd..
we feel like playing the swing thingy beside the carousel .

as we were about to go..

i saw someone's brother or maybe what looked like hym.

then the brother kinda saw me i guess and he knew who i was.
he called his younger brotherr..
and before he's younger brother could turn around i scurried through the crowd fasterr so that he cant see me .

then i told ama,sab and mizah i saw hym!..
they were like where?where?..

then they saw..

'laughes'

after taking the swing ride ama had to go meet her mum and her aunt
backk..

so me,sab and mizah hung there for a while ..

though my body was with them my eyes were looking for a little something else.
and it was hym.
where is he?my mind question itself.
he's surely is with he's parents..i answered.

we then saw hym taking Top Gun.
but i dint want hym to see me..
so i dint stand there thoughh..



but i did saw he's face as he was playing the ride.
he's face full of happyness.
i smiled.

but..



then we go home..mizah walk the odr way so me and sab cross the bridge to go to our bus stopp..
i asked her to stopped fer a little while when we were on top of the bridge.
i wanted to search for hym.
and then i saw hym.
even though it was distances away i still could see..


omg!!this entryy is soo darn longg ahahs..

'smiles''

& he's back to square ONE.
guess what bitchh..
you broke his heartt..
you happy now?
if this is what i wanted..
why do i feel so badd
Well, if you need something and love it, you dont really know how much it means to you until you lose it.
Maybe that's just itt.

I think i won't understand any of thiss just yett..

maybe i won't even understand it at all..
but i hope he would thoughh..
at least it would make my heart abitt lighterr..

to take the edge off..
maybe i SHOULD go to the carnivall..
scream till no voice would come out for me anymoree..




anywaysss..
the conflict with zuhiri is solvee..
but she still wudnt tell me want she wanted to say in the ferst place thoughh..




i hope at least somethingg would pull me thorugh thiss..

and is being single such a crime?
or is it just a feeling?

wee!!arghh!!
i feel lyke jumping up and downn..screaming my lungss outt EXAMSS ARE OVERR!!!
hahass..
ystd night was a killer one..
i stayed up till 1 plus plus to finish my artt..
but in the end i cudnt concentrate niways went to clepp..
i woke upp and i felt so giddyy and felt lyke pukingg..
so i went to bathe to freshen my mindd..
after a short showerr..i wnet back doing my artt..
how i envyy my sis fer sleping ever so soundlyy..
hmmph!




i made my mind upp..and the desicion is finall..
nothing can change thiss..

but how am i goin to tell?




hookayss..
my beshtie msg me drin examm tu tell me smthin imprtt !!
but my batt was lyke falt so i made a quick reply and after dan the pon off my itselff..

and now she's madd at me?
piss of maybe..
something is wrongg..
and i want to be there ..
but what if she dsnt want me to be there nimoress,..?
confused muchh?


i call herr..
she said she's bussyy..
i knw she madd..
not busyy..
so??
what shld i du??



i want to comfortt herr...
SOMETHINGG IS wrongg!!



i tryy yarrhs?
msging herr again..
knwing her and me..
i dun think she feels like talking noww..

the not soo long ago pics of uss..'smiles'


the CAMwhoring thyme we had at ama's hse..
it was gret funn!..
i was like practicaly fightg wf ama using teddies..
nyahaha..noo!!
we are not kids..
we just love havingg funn yarrhs..
latelyy..
there's this one personn always in my head.
and it isnt the one that was spsed tu be there..
is it wrongg?

if like i tell hym ...it would truely hurt hym inside outt..i wudnt want that to hapen thoughh cause i knw how it feels..
and i wudnt want something like that tu hapenn thoughh..

maybe i was just meant be single..
ist doesnt feel rightt.
i dun wna feel that wayy..
i really want to be he's fwen thoughhh..


zuhiri!!..i mishh herr sia..
hee..Xp..
even though every single thyme i talk tu herr it always has smuthing tu du wf mann..
i dun mind thoughh.
she luppes hym tu the freking coree..
but still..
wishED she cud be dare a little more fer me..'smiles'


the not so long

'bites bottom lip'
todayy was our second maths paperr..
when i fliped the paer to reveal the questions..
i was like 'freking shytss'
how to solve the equationss..i look at sabb all concentrated.
my heart was pratically beating so fast i cudnt breathe.
hee..
looking at sabbie..motivated me to at least tried.
arghh..

heee..
but even that question i did wrongg seyy..

maths was something i was BORNed to fail yarrhs..




i always have fun with THE FAMOUS 7.
i dun think i can ever live without dem thoughh..
even at the most confusing thymes i know i can count on them on give at least the MOST comforting solutionss..
haesshh..



he makes me think sumthymes.
he makes me wonderr late night.
he makes my cheecks wet with tearrs.

but i cant undersatnd myself whyy..
so how does he except me to tell hym whyy..

i seriously nedd thyme thoughh..












trust me..
'smiles'
okayys..
i'll update my blog tunite orr sumthingg..
i still got stuff tu duu..
and sayy..

'smiles'
at the rate im going id probably be heading into big BIG wall..
lol..
cause i always ferget to include the important stuff!..
like saying a BIG BIG THANKYEW!! tu..
'drumrolls pweashh'
AMAlina!!..
wee..=))
she larr teh one who did all this fer me..
who inserted the songg.. and the c-box isit?..
hahas..
n sabbie pratically use werds to force me.. tu do this blogg..
i guesss.. it would help me express my self beteerr..
YAYness..

'smiles'
heyys..
OMG!!..the UK funfair is soo soo NOT fer the faint hearted..
the rides are absoutlely thrilling to the bone..
even before the ride started i could see my whole life flash infront of me..WEIRD??
hee..
but yeahh..i felt as if im in the Final Destination 3.
you can scream til you CANT scream nimoress..
wow..
well the rides i took were the top gun and the challenger.
after taking those two already i dint dare to take the vortex!!..
'laughes'
all thru the ride i was hoping and hopin tht someone would text me.


im stil confused thoughh..
i wished he would give me more time to considerr instead of bugging me with the fact that he still has feelings for me..
i want hym to know that he would always ALWAYS be that speacial my heart.
no one can ever take that over from hym.



i still ahve yet to start on my ARTT!! argh and i ned to complete FIVE freking boards..
i dun even feel like doin it anymoree..
how i wishED i could drop the sub..
okayss till here..


before my mummy come in here.im going to get into trouble!!


'smiles'

I can't stop thinking.
I feel that i need to say more.
BUT even words can't explain this.
It all all so complicated.
i WANT to show youu..
i NEED you to see..
This isnt what i planned it to be.

I need time.
I nedd to sort this malfunction with my mind.

i finally find outt what was wrong.its ME.

No words can express the secret agony of my soul.If i wanted it so muchh.Why do i feel so bad?I had no intentions at ALL to hurt hym.His my PRINCEcharmg.Maybe i forgotten how to lupp?i SHOULD had listen to my sisterr thoughh..
Its as if my heart is held by a stone dangling from it.
it FEELS so heavy.
I think I know whats the problem.its ME.It was Too darn fastt.
We dint get to know each other ferst.
this has alreadyy taught me somethingg imprtt..
never RUSHH..'tears fall on cheeks'



i WANT hym to ustd.
Why i doing this...i CANT live a lie..
FAKE a smile in front of hym pretending everytg is alright when it is just nott..
i don't regret any SECOND we spent with each otherr..
i WOULD NOT want to trade it for anytg in the werld.
What i know is that he's my PRINCEcharmg and
he would ALWAYS always have that special place in my heart reserved just for hym and only fer hym..
'sighes'