omgahhhh , tmrw already have to bangun sahur . don't you think it's bloody fast , went out with shirin & rok plus rok's friend yesterday after ss remedial .
raining so heavily laa , and i was super-cold , heehs .
studied but got this dumb matrep like cakau and stuff . 'laughs'
but overall was super-fun eventho we just studied and camwhored , heehs .
cause that's what the freaks do yeahh . && zuzu you pussy wussy , go STUDDDYYYYYYY .
still dare to sleepppp . later if i call you not studyg , you'll get ..'raises eyebrows'
i seriously don't know was wrong with mummy now days , she like every time scold me , and just now she scold me for using a dirty plate . im like ?
'sighs deeply' i end up having darn-ed fightg match using words .
i don't get her , at least daddy's understandg laa , 'trys to smile'

the two from all the way form sec one till now .
zuzuzuzuuzuzuzuzu !
'laughs' shirin is going to slaughter me for this . woops .


world's best tcher .
i've got another pict which i think i would only show my gfs , heehs .
today was super-fun , cause i laughed like shit with gfs .
i practically wanted to take pict with everyone laa .
&& i think the sec one guy who sang ''the reason'' by hoobastank was really nice .
cause that song brings lots of memories , such as bahar's hoobastank drumstick that was stolen by dumb azri & hamdan .
&& the fact that someone sang that song for me , during national day last year .
hmmpf , i hope my heart would like just stop racing for a mint and let me think for a sec 'winks'
zuzu , go online so i can you yur picts 'smiles'
going to mug like hell agin yeahhhhhhh .

im so angryyyyy .
im like churning and boiling up inside , damn her .
if she want to go down herself , then that's her bloody prob , don't drag people who isnt in the wrong in the first place .
coverg up all yur little lies , with innocent names , it all seems to makes sense now .
why the hatred started , an innocent does not prove anytg at all .
walkg through the rain was super-fun/wet .
'laughs' anyways , im like sneezing and wheezing , 'smiles' but it was all worth all .
class was super-funn . thanks liana & ina for being super-kecoh and making me laugh my hats off .
shirin & zuzu , for constantly disturbg me making sure i was alright .
sab & ama , for just being there , whenever , however .
thanks you guys . 'smiles extra widely with teeth'
lastly ,
happy bdae little sissy , 14 years old alr . taller then me somemore , stop growg aye ?
'laughs'
i swear this bdae would be a special one .

so i played this maths game on the nintendo touch thingy .
play & played till i got so lost in it .
syabirr say he wants to give me that , so i was like okayyy .
'laughs'
im on the phone with this partially weird person , who wants me to make milo .
'smiles to self'
till later .

intoxicating drug .






im the super short one.


liana's face like ki-rara !









rok & shirin is going to kill me 'laughs' when they see the picts above .
wells , so much happened in the past few days .
last night decided to study s.s with liana , swear i wont go out with her & show her my 50 cents anymore . 'makes a face' i was like busy writg notes , scribbling , liana went mad with my phone .
'laughs' then liana went '' syima,...tengok'' , which i did , my glasses were like at the rim of my nose when i saw shirin & rok approachg , luckily i text-ed them what level .
we cam-whoredddd . so funyy , first using my phone , then shirin's . stupid faces .
i've got all the picts alrd .
then today , went to s.s remedial , when we chance upon this old lady lots findng 733 , me ,shirin , ama & zuzu like seriously got no clue where it is , but folowg zuzu's common sense & a phone call to 'Babyy we found it . so poor thing , her heavy bags , so we help her carry there . 'smiles'
then , me & shirin went to the lib to study , while ama & zuzu went home .
go there alrdy , we went to eat , then shirin was like ''look behind you..''
so i turned and saw 'Babyy , what a coincidence , he say he was going to eat with family .
so much of family ! more like his new Gf laa , then chance upon him at uncle tidbits , liar .
BOO ! it's late at night , plus i cant sleep . wonder who's awake .

13 MORE DAYS .
got all my papers back , except english paper one .
guess-ed i passed all except this one darn-ed sub , maths .
what can i say , im really dumb in maths .
i certainly know what i really want right now , to study every chance i've got .
im still confused with what to choose after sec 4 . either to stay on until sec 5 , or go higher nitec & work my way through there . But i want to use my direct admission cert , by which i have to go sec 5 and cont to do my bloody art .
told mummy i want so many things for my bdae , 'laughs evily' but really , it'd be ahrder for me to celebrate this year . i want matching heart necklace with one of my gffs , 'winks'
&& i found out who the kylie perfume was coming form , cant believe she got it .
darn-ed .

15 MORE DAYS TO MY BIRTHDAYYYY .
firstly we got back more papers , 'covers face'
&&& i went to the darn-ed dentist alr . It's so nerve-wrecking and liana and ama had to returned to class , so yaadidaaa .
they say that got two teeth cross each other , so they blunt the edges for me .
and the dumb mosquito bite my face two times , it looks like pimples tho .
'sighs deeply'
zuzu , your eng how ? haahs .
alright , im officially bored & got nothing to say .
so , crapp it . im going off && study for godd sakes .
&& i swear that all of you can do it , we are just super-lazy . we can , i swear we can .

do you know how it feels like , when you're sleepg & someone wakes you up ?
godd ,i swear i hate that feelg . 'screws face'
DUMBBB SYIDDAAAA .
wheeewww , im so lucky the dentist is closed today , cause i practically need dragging into that place for my swollen gums , so pain .
mummy asked me to gurgle with salt water , 'winches' .
we got our s.s and art paper today .
i swear i did really badly for s.s & miss sharifa say i was dissapointg , i nearly wanted to cry .
but , not in front of anyone i won't .
so i hide it with smiling , i did that all so well . GAHHS* but i'll try harder .
thenn , after school we hand in our N level prep plus the final thingy .
most of the schools brought in canvas , lookg at their works , i immediately felt out of place .
but what the hell , i spent sleepless night & long sweaty afternns with an empty stomach . so that was pure effort .

'crosses eyes and swings legs'
it's so cold & im burng up inside .
i had to fight with syiddddaaaa . godd .
so not fun at all , she was like screamg at me , ''slap uhh !! slapp fasterr.... !!''
i just sighed deeply , i so wasnt in the mood at all to fight with anyone let alone her .
hazhim went studyg & hisyam went msia .
&& im stucked at home doing laundryy & on the phone with ama . heeh .
plus , i went cp to meet hazhim for a while go grab some food . mummy cook nothing pedas , so im not eatg . 'folds arms'
i dare not say miss in front of ama anymoree . cause , i was on the phone with her like last night eyh ? then i said i missed someone , but the miss came out really high pitch .
'slaps self' haahs .
crapp , okayy , im going to shovel my head into the books and see what i can come up with .

i don't ffffffffffff get it .
im so darn-ed pissed , just bcus she gave some guy up for you , you worship her of some sort ?
i guess what you said a few years ago was all true .
i said it once , should have listend . 'sighs deeply' how ... can... could ..
GAHHS* i don't know .

so i sat and thought last night , about the things i want to do & loved to do .
i still don't get it , fightg and fightg is it a must ? i got a damned perfect song for this .
damn-ed . stayed home and reflected while watchg 'child's play'
that show , is seriously like what the hoot .
im don't know if it's the crappy weather that makes me feel this way , or it's just me .
i guess it's just me , someone slap me .
GAHHHS* ajaked kak ayumi out , so bored .
pluss, im done studyg and im lazy to take a cat nap . 'sighs'
cause , im still tryg to convince you that you are my only one .
why cant you see , that i only need no other than you .

cause if you jump I will jump too we will fall together from the building's ledge never looking back at what we've done we'll say it was love cause I would die for you on skyway avenue.


'pumps fist in the air' omgahhhhh . like wohooooo!
we are finally finished with prelims 'makes best expression of a lunatic'
&& im learng from this bloody damned prelim , im going to start earlier .
cause my darned bio tcher set the paper like , 'shakes head'
so yeahh , basically family ? right , syabir is like going out every single day , so it's like the same you know ? but he actually invited me to pray with him yesterday , only i havent bathe .
i miss rok's quirky laughhh .

I’ve finally come to realize that we are all the same..
If there’s nothing left to lose then there’s every to gain..
All the paragraphs and pages you could write could not contain..
It is curious and careless and it’s flowing through my veins..
You can’t disguise a heart while it’s breaking, yeah
You hide behind the smile you’re faking..
It’s all about the the chance you’re taking
oh, and you know that you’re making it all come alive…
it all come alive…
The sun is setting and it’s ending ‘cause you’re letting it go,
forgetting everything you already know..
And it all goes to show that you’re moving too slow..
It will end up changing you..
it will end up changing you.

i just don't get it , English was alright i guess , only i was too busy staring into space .
so having him home , is like , well diff .
today was spsed to be special , but i guess my darned bloody mouth changed that .

'covers eyes and trys to breathe'
syabir came home last night , the was this session of down and talk with him while eatg .
i feel so uncomfortable , there's only one person that i can joke about his arse too . 'sighs'
it seems that he changed for the better i swear && right now im even using his lappie . cause hazhim chnaged the password again . GAHHS*
i don't know , i feel so unstable right now .
'hits self'
im sorry , im bloddy crappy effing sorry .
i dint know why i had to change , why i had to be this way , things just happen you know ?
i know i promised you sometg & i said i'd do it , but you know that i can't just bring myself to .
crapp girl , i do miss those times i used to laugh till my tummy aches over silly stuff like armpit hair , i do , i do .
im pretending , can't you see ? too make everytg seem alryt . ccrap i missed you .
but i know , somehow , you hate me for being this way . somehow , you feel as though there should been sometg you should have done to stop me . it's not your fault it never was .
sometimes , when i think back , im like yeahh , where's 'me' ? the one that laugh till you'd hold yur tummy grasping to stop , or crying with ya trying to make things better .
but i guess , im so worried about so many things you know , but i just cant put it into words and deliver it out to you , which i would rather not put it out here .
&& you dint lose a freind , i know those heart pierceing words were all for a cause , but when you said that you dint want to talk to me or whatsoever hurts most , cause i cant even make it better for you , or at least try .
but most of all , i'd like you to know that you din't lose a freind ,not now not ever .
remember what you said to me the last time we fought , that made me cry in the bus until i cant see clearly .
you said sometg like , '' i won't stop you from going , but if you do , please give me one last hug and let me know'' sometg like that i think . 'tears fall'
through it all , i'd still try and be there for you .

i been in & out of the toilet , i smell like poo and gas .
wth ? 'rolls eyes' && hahzim rushed home for me .
weeeee . 'smiles'
but thens , i was in the freakg home for the whole day .
so i slpet half of it and pooed and lie on the bed talkg to ama .
but still i was aloneeee .
BAHHS*

can you see the heart shape ?

don't have much picts so hope this will do .
YESTERDAYYY WAS FUNNNNN !
firstly i got my damn period yayyyyyyyyyyy ! secondly , hazhim was super-sweet to go out un-bathe to get me some you-know-what & make sure i was comfortable .
but fireworks remind me of someone ; forgotten , jepon .
haahs , that time there was this event at esplanade , i could'nt go , so she video-ed it and showed me in class the next day . but today's one was way betterrrrrr !
my aunts & uncle brought a lorry but darn-ed it had to rain . sissy was soak so she transferred to the car instead . 'laughs' so left me & dona . super funn laa .
then , we went to east coast beach , me & dona always rent the two-sitter .
thenthen , we eat . it had to rained again . BAHHS*
so we packed & moved to fetch my mum from after work .
that's when the fireworks started . we park the lorry somewhere really near there .
then cars started to follow , crap mann . in like half-an-hour there was a jam , since no one wanted to move , the traffic police came & we fled form the area . hazhim rang me , wanted to meet .
but in the end , it was too packed seyy .
sorry sabbie & ir , wanted to meet you guys too . 'sighes'
so after that , we go changi , go get more food , and eat at changi beach .
before proceeding jalan- jalan roundg the whole sg .
it was super cold at the back of the lorry that i was shakg , i lie down & look at the stars . gereeeekkkk .
ouhh yarrhs , there's a few things i want to do now .
go to the zoo , boards singapore flyer , lay on my back at a beach & look into the black shimmerg sky . && i dam-ned worried cause i don't know what's going on .
i was like , taking in all the sight & smells when i got a text , i got no idea why but i started cryg so bad that , i had to cover my face & sob . mummy & the rest tried to talk , but i dint wanna .
'fiddles with fingers'

the day started damn slow , i was lost in sch can you believe it ?
so many people in red shirt , guess im a spoiler with uni . 'laughs'
fast-forward, in the hall we screamed and shouted and sang with ech other as tho nothing happend .
godd , that look on her face , priceless , so satisfying .but the darn-ed tcher had to ruin my mood .
'rolls eyes' then went back home straight was really bored since no one at home and mummy bought home food . so i ate , laze around and felt asleep till rok rang invting me to go eat .
sleepily i got dressed and met them . haahs . shirin was sick , so they had to go home .
so , i hungt out with my sis and her freinds .
godd, i don't know how many times i got hugged .'laughs'
they drank & smoke , but dint offer me since they knew i dint do it . we ate pizza and crap on stories that make me roll on the floor .
then , when we wanted to go home , they sent us at the bus stop , then bcus we hugged & all the bus left us .
'smiles' so darned funny laa . i laughed like hell .