I have been staring at this page for around half an hour, thinking exactly what should I write. I;m sorry I did not mean to hurt my little girl, honestly. You know the feeling of someones new liking you? The excitement that someone else finds you attractive, you're gaining attention but after you surpass all that, what's left is the love, the actual love you have for your other half.

'sighs' Seeing Hazhim & Erwina part just like that, just over a small mistake makes me reflect. It's actually all the small things that affects you the most, cause it accumulates over time snow- balling into a whole shitload of crap. Hard to believe the fact that couples for as long as them 8 years can choose to just walk away from each other. It aches me seeing them like that, cause it reminds me of me & shirin somehow. Sharing everything with each other, tears over the phone. Screams of joy when we pass our N's and cried when we failed our O's. Telling that someone every single detail, finding out dislikes/likes and whatnot. Eventually with them it becomes a routine, difficult to break, like an old habit. How does one decide to part from someone with so much memories and not shed a single tear. You can only smile as you reminisce back everything you guys did tgt. Every fight, every tear, every smile, every heartbreak making you guys stronger as a couple.

& fr you,
I guess it's nothing new to you, that I decide not to pick up your calls or reply your texts. Cause we did it so many times over the past three years. I have always listened to you, your advices,our 1am fights, 3 am makeups. You'd always pester me to study, that's how secretly I manged to always do well in Social Studies, English, Science. Our late night DNT & art dates, forcing me to draw your stuff for you.It was tiring, we both knew that, every single day, with SST till 4.3o/5 needing to study and complete our coursework too. But the fact that you were always there, makes it easier somehow. I always thought you'd be my first and last, needless to say you gave a hell of a first impression, 'smiles' I wish you all the best for now, for you, Faizal and the little baby. Insya'allah, you'll be a much better person. Never go back to your old ways, remember what you always told me, if not for mummy, don't do anything stupid cause you hate to see tears in daddy's eyes. I miss buzzer & zara kiss them fr me. I miss the smell of your room, the view from your room window, the clubhouse. I miss everything, despite the fact you cheated so many times. I'll still forever care about you, takecare shirin.

with love,
Crysrain