Bumped into this guy yesterday , apparently he's working at causeway again . & the way he was smiling at me show that he has been looking at me from afar even before I walked passed his shop . I know eddie , heh . Shall let you guys figure out where though . Isn't it weird how for a period of time he was all I ever wanted and needed , things changed people changed . I do have those moments where I'll just sit down and think about everything and nothing in particular . I do get scared , really scared . The one thing that scares me the most is that if someone can just throw a 3 year relationship away just like that what makes you think you on give up on me somehow , someday ?

I've always believed that there's a reason why I can never take my mind off you , maybe you were meant to be there . Etched somewhere in my brain , kept safe . People go through 4 steps after a break up . They cry , they get clingy , they get mad and then they move on . But I go through the 4 steps over and over again . I keep forcing myself , if you're happy I'll be happy . I once told you that , if happy isn't with me I allow you to leave . Apparently you did , somehow I wished you'd give me a better reason to break up with me , but then what possibly could be the"perfect reason" for a breakup . I'll always make a reason for you to stay .
& I hope that no matter what you're doing out there , whoever you're with know that I'm always here. I'll never show though this still kills as much as I try to push you out from my head you still manage to come back in . You know I'm talking about you , guess you're better at moving on then I will ever be .

I'm going to try & sleep and stop thinking , Ya Allah , for once don't wake me up from my sleep crying because when I do I'll look at my phone and there's still nothing from you and I feel so empty inside . Please don't let me go through that feeling I'm not strong enough . I never fail to look at our pictures on my wall and tear up I dont have the heart to tear it down though , guess I'll be this way then .

withlove,
Syima