'sighs deeply' i wonder why does this have to be so hard . You'd always see me laughg and smiling when deep down inside im screamg . Someone once told me that everyone has problems , but what if the problem is in your house , and you have no control what so ever on how to deal with it . Even if you protest you'd gte hit , if you cry they wont care . If you run ... now that's an idea .
'exhales' im supposed to be sane in this house , no , you wont understand ! you never would , even if it slaps you in the face . Sometimes i think maybe if i end my life it'd all be better , he'd go crazy . My daddy would breakdown and my mummy would probably vent her frustrations on hahzim and syida . But how selfish can i be ? I can't leave my beloved parents and brother and sister into his evil hands . But , then u tell me what to do ? fuck him . seriously , my handphone rang he asked me to silent it at home , before he throw my phone outside the window . Every single thing he does , sent tears down my cheecks . YET , i still feel sorry for him . How , fuckg stupid can i be , i hate my screwup brother , i hate the word brother . I HATE HIM .
i wish-ed he would just die , stop running everyone's life , i still need my mummy and daddy but he's freakg 25 for god sakes . Im so glad , god gave me hazhim , but imagine if hazhim comes cryg to me , i as his small sister has to be strong for him when i cant even be strong formyself .
im desperate for somoeone to sing me the simple plan - save you song to me .