going swimming again . ain't my choice alryt . was mummy's wanted to spent time with us .
so going with cousin's , finally get to see dona again .
mummy is currently extremely fed-up with me .
BAHHS*
waited till like after 3 am yesterday for darlg to call .
in the end , nada . nothing , i have like huge eye-bags now .
didn't sleep well , woke up a few times last night .
text-ed ir for a while , heehs . talked crap , but at least it kept me awake .
i hope he'd call today though . 'rolls eyes' din't talk to him for a day , feel as though a thousand pins are stuck in my heart .
PLUSS , on top all this all , im sick .
my nose is killing me . 'sniffles' wished the world , would juts keep silent & still just for a few seconds .
cherish what you have now , cause once it's gone , it may be too late to say sorry or even ''i love you''
ouhh godd, i miss him . 'shakes head' GAHHHS*
dad's nagging again . 'cover ears'
can't wait , to go far away from here .
maybe , daddy sendg me far away isn't such a bad thing anyways .
i got to pack now , let's just hope i don't fall down and die or sometg .


'wrinkles nose'

im going to blog for a while yeahh .
then im going to get dress and meet ai lin , then go out and get presents for mummy dearest .
wahhaa . can't believe hazhim bought the presents already .
so we are headg to town , again.
blehh . going to catch up with my old babe , can't wait .

i tried callg you back , so many times after you called me twice .
but your line was engaged , till i felt a slept .
GAHHS*

'cranks neck' mummy is in super good mood todayy .
yayy mummy .
i better get dress , before being late , again .
cause im, always late with her , i can't wait . weeheee .

How could you .
kill me , kill me .
im fucked up stress . cant they see im tired??!!
i feel like fainting .

i force myself not to sleep , && i get very worn out when i reached home .
why don't they build hostel's there .
wont it be easier??!!
FUCKK ADSS .
i always feel like being alone ,
bcus now days i snap at people very often .

i smile juts bcus i have to .
&&& i tired of it .

im startg to get the hang of my new phone . I'm so darn blur using this nokia phone ,
since it's been a darn long tyme since i used nokia . Try 2 years .
'smiles' then then ama thought me how to like make the text smaller & all .
thank you ama!! 'smiles'
hazhim gave me a heart attack sey juts now .
i was tellg syida about the russel lee show , that i watched with ama,farah & mushin yesterday
and how the pontianak , crept in the toliet .
i heard noises in hazhim's room urrhs but his asleep so , it's kind of weird .
then until syi-da jumped out of her seat & onto the floor then i looked up to waht she's seeing .
what i saw was a face with long hair covering it .
i screamed seyy . i really screamed . till i look at it agan it was only hazhim . me & syida like partically chased him arnd the house with a stick . 'laughes'

eyys . wells today is the second day i never go school . im not lazy kieys ?
well im lyke currently addicted to a song called outta my system by bow wow .
if eddie heard that i like this song . he'd like laugh at me cause i don't usually listen to the hip and hopping . haahs .
Is it wrong for me to feel this way, you been running through my mind all day
Can you feel me?
I been trying get you off my mind, but I cant after all this time
That's what kills me

I remember everything that me and you talked about
Me and you had our whole lives planned out together
And if I could, I would, turn back the hands of time and correct all my mistakes that I ever did
But now I guess I gotta move on, right?
It's still hard and I still love you till this day

yesterday we went rayer with fiq all that . there were like more then 30 plus combined with belo and the gang .
i din't thought that belo was coming sey . was fun urhs .. but most of us were like damn tired since it was after school . although i din't go to school heehs .
ama told me that i failed my Mt but overall i passed . that's good .
and i passed my comb. sci .
i want to go to school and see my paper .
'sighes' im having diarrhea . my stomach is like grr rmmm .

f this . i think right . im just forcing myself to like rifaie .he's not really like 'wow'
i still can't forget my 'PRINCEcharmg . my original 'PRINCEcharmg .
and now rumors are spreading that im with let's name him 'SIR teddy .
well there's rumors that me and 'SIR teddy are together . and when i heard it , i was wth .
that's one thing i hate about him i mean like i can't trust him . he's really like really different when his with me , when his with his friends . i need to talk to him .

i can't let rumors that aren't true go around . yes his kind . yes his there for me ..
but that doesn't make it acceptable .'sighes'

ouhk so here it is .
how i really feel . its three months into our relationship today . but it all feels the same .
i can't talk to him yet . im not ready to face him . im sorry PRINCEcharmg . but you will know it soon .
i need to sort this out . im going out of my mind . no one seems to understand why i feel this way . maybe do . im feeling this way cause you never did those stuff she did to me . you never cared if im crying or mad . i watched you to see what would you do when i fought with my sister . but you just sit there and did nothing . i wished SHE was a HIM . im liking her cause she treated me like im her girlfriend . yes she's a butch . big deal . and she made me laugh .

she was there . when i fought . she was there when i was on the verge of breaking down .

i told her everything . i told her i have feelings for her .
she's like this boyfriend i have which is a girl .
she understood . she never did criticized she comforted me . she told me to think it throughly .
cause she know PRINCEcharmg loves me alot .

I WISHED SHE WAS A GUY.
PRINCE charmg would not handle this at all . i know he would break down . i know him too well .
im feeling sooo confused . only she know how to handle this .

im still STRAIGHT . i do still like guys ! .
but this is a exception . no one knows how to handle this yet except her . why must this hapen to me . i can only talk about this to herr .

FAMOUS 7 are you still prepared to be friends with me? 'tears slid down cheecks ' id int wnat this to happen 'cries even more'