like i said , good things never last .

i din't know that i could lose my dad .

how did everything turn to be the way it is ? you tell me .

it's not something i can laugh it off anymore , it's not something i can sleep on .

im going to lose my dad , is that anyway funny ?

why does everything has to happen to me , all at once ?

my aunt came to my house early morning , she practically screamed it syabir's ears ,

he has to engaged a lawyer to fight for his case or he'd be thrown into jail ,

and guess what ? we don't have the money , like shockg .

& we have to borrow it from her , she's the one paying for everything that runs in my house .

PUB, electricity , etc.. etc .

i thought of sneakg out of the house , but before i could left for work

she called me and screamed at me too .

& said i din't contribute anytg to the house and i work for my own benefit .

wow .

she asked me how's my studies . typical .

then i could feel that i was starting to cryy , so i make a face, she screamed at me stop cryg .

but no tears felt from my eyes yet . my dad and brother stared at me .

i hate to let my family members see me crying , i felt weak and angry,

that i cried infront of her .

my dad ask me to tell her about the direct poly admission ,

and that moment i just wanted to screamed , cry , die .

i dint want to tell her anything , i just anted to screamed IM A FUCKING FAILURE !

happy now ? so what i topped my class , i got DPA .

it doesnt matter in their eyes . i might as well fail .

she then let me go ,

i sobbed uncontrolbally in the lift , i maked noises when im realy scared , which i did .

i cried all the way to work ,

people kept staring at me their eyes searching me , questionable looks ,

i bent my head low and kept my music loud .

when i reached work , i forced myslef to smile ,

i don't want thier pity .

they can't help me , so why bother .

im going to lose my dad , if i don't top my class next year .