& as much as im trying not to think , i am .

AHHHHHHHH , HI ALIENHEADDS . I'm hyper at 12.53 am in the morng are you ? hah . Sick , Im doing all the opposites of what Im supposed to do right now . While everyone is busy trying to find a job , I threw mine away . Im not irrational , but seriously the manager is screwupracistpieceof&^%# . Imagine , most of the people there are like from Msia , and they are chinese , Im ok with that , really , I mix really well with them . But imagine with them she lets them off easy , anc she comes down hard on you . One time nehmind , two times I'd swallow in . 3rd time byebye birdie . HAH , I think I scolded her ? And told her I wanted to resign which she Dint let me to do in the first place . Then I say I'll work till end of the month then I'll quit . But she havent let me sign the paper , wth . She thens starts complaining in chinese to the rest , as if i dont freaking understand that yur rambling abt me . I watch enough chinese dramas okkkkkk .

GAHHS* what a sucky weeeekkk . One shot after another , Im literally unstable . Desiree and Zuzu has been my best antidote to sadness . I stilll thinkkkkkkkkk though , Im trying to be reallly strong this time . Yur words was already enough to kill me .

U're backkkkkk , BUT . 'sighs' I dont really know how to come through to you anymore . Seriously , nothing I say has an impact on you . You sure as hell know what ure doing is wrong , and I hate it . Dont , please dont go back t yur old ways . I havent seen the way u were last time , but I have heard horrible things abt you . & you know what ? I always have to give this pained look when i tell my customers that the piece they want got no size left or no more left , but I wonder what kind of face Im going to give you when I tell you this . 'sighs'

you.got.no.idea.how.hard.im.trying.to.be.brave.about.this.im.tryg.my.very.best.to.swallow.this.as.calmly.

as.i.can.

Went out with desiree , headed to town . Someone wnated t sent me home but in the end forget that , he/she is workg . Save yur sweet talk kay ? Not interested . Desiree had to put her GULP in my beg , and then we boarded the train . We were laughg so hard with ras , when a lady next to me tapped my shoulder and say , " Becareful someone spilled a drink , ( points to the floor) "

Me : "AWW , thankyou so muchhhh !"

(turns to desiree and looks at her pink boots)

Me: Desiree lift up yur legs frm the mrt floor someone spilled sometg .

then sometg just clicked in my hed . SHITTTXZXZX .

desiree's drink , the whole cup was emptied in my beg . 'sighs' She then treat me to donuts to cheer me up , but we spent half and hour in the toilet drying my things with the hand dryer .

No words can express my gratitude towards you desiree , never fail to cheer me up . Im dying inside , stillll ....

My eyes are cramp frm staring at this screen , Desiree aksed me why have a diary when u have msn and blogger . Well , sometimes things are better written down , and kept away frm all the other people readg it .