I look stoned 'grins' But im effing mad , so decided to blog it out .
It's like 1.05am , dont ask me why I'm not asleep , seriously missing someone . (hint hint , bunny ) . I knowww , shutup seriously . So I work just now , after so long working alongside with the bunch , today I was alone . Well it suited me alright , cause it means that I do not have to engage in conversations then pretend to laugh and smile . So the mood suited me really well , futhermore was doing stockingup , and maybe , I teared a little in the storeroom . 'covers face'
I'm not sure why Im not really feeling my besttt even mummy can see it . She trys to get me to eat by cooking my favourite dishes but I just cant bring myself to it . 'smiles'
I know rightt , first time . Usually i'd warmed up to good food , but lately I just dont feel like it .
Side-tracking again , heh . So work , was in the storeroom like 3/4 of the time I was there & fie was talking to me , he was sayg like he's going back to the philipines in April . Guess he'd be the last one t leave there , all of us are going soon enough . It sucked , cause there wasntTaufiq was there to keep on disturbing me sayg "It's ok.." in my slang . Rusydy to talk crap with me , Jia hui for
me to bully , heh . & Ama , to hear me . Kevin tried to cheer me up with peanut biscuits , I said try cause I merely just smile to him nodding mouthg the words "thankyou" to him . Aiyer , im just .... forget it .

Went home with Mama and Laila , they were talkg about opening a business venture while I was lost in my own train of thoughts . & I was holdg the railing to stablise myself , when suddenly i felt a warm hand on top of mine . I pulled my hand downwards , after a few seconds the hand was there again . Frustrated i turn to look who was it , guess who , BANGLA SIA . Disgusted , i jerked my hand off the railing and folded my arms across my chest . That f bangla just give me a " I-so-did-not-hold-your-hand-even-if-i-did-u-cant-do-anytg" kinda look . Screw him laa , screw all f banglas . Frustrated i cried , haahs . Stupid , i know . But i dint have the guts to slap him . AHHHHHHH , but i had enough of banglas laa serious , even at darlg's work place constantly get stares frm banglas , what is their problem . Lack of girls in their country , huh .

You still have been constantly running through my mind without fail , It's been so long that I have been in yur arms that I forgotten how it feels , 'sighs' Why isnt it getting easier ? Guess that's not how this works . Im headg out with zuzu and desiree tmrw ! Finally , smiles and laughter , hopefully . I miss those two like crapp , pickg up desiree frm school then off t meet zuzu .

....im using my heart this time . They just can't figure out what to do . I just want you to be happy .